Sunday, April 12, 2015

Beautifully Flawed


We are all alike in that we are all beautifully flawed. Since the fall of Adam and Eve, humans have changed. Most of us would not dream of going around naked, but Adam and Eve did so without even a thought. I would not even dare to go out in public most days without my makeup, because I almost feel “naked” without it! They lived in paradise and walked and talked freely with the God of the universe, unclothed and unashamed. They had nothing to hide or feel ashamed about…that is, until sin entered the world. Then, we became beautifully flawed.

We are born into sin and born wanting our own way…all the time! We don’t have to learn selfishness because we are born that way naturally. We have to learn to break away from what comes natural in order to become the beauty that God created us to be. It is a life-long struggle, in that none of us “gets all of it” overnight and wakes up one morning 100% flawless. However, God uses our flaws to teach us we need more of Him and others. He uses our flaws to help others see what they don’t want to be in their own lives and to show us how imperfect we are and that we must look at our own flaws before looking at the flaws of others.

Some of us are broken from life’s demands, mean/abusive people, illness, death, loss, deep financial stress, etc. However, God can use these things to make us beautiful to Him and others. We can walk alongside someone else going through the same things we went through because we too have been there. II Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles, SO THAT we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” These things make us flawed, or as some people would negatively say “baggage,” but in reality they make us more beautiful, in a flawed sense of the word. If you look at a beautiful butterfly, for instance, and the color doesn’t look quite right or the wings are a little off centered, we would not say it is ugly but rather that it is beautiful, but has a slight flaw. I think that God looks at each one of us the same way.

This is not to say we should maximize our flaws by any means! Actually, we need to try to become more like Christ and we should grow in such a way that we sin less and less (become less flawed) as the months and years go by. If you are still struggling with all the same things year after year, you are just flawed. But, when you allow God to use your flaws to help you grow and help others grow, you are beautifully flawed.

Case in point. I absolutely love people and have always had a big heart towards them. I lived to please people for many years. This was because of the very abusive home I grew up in and the bullying I had to endure while going through school too. I wanted people to love me or even like me so much that I would let them treat me however they wanted to, even if it wasn’t right. I let people use me as a doormat for years and never stood up for myself because I wanted everyone to like me, no matter what the cost. Flaw? Yes. However, this was a beautiful flaw in one way, in that I had a big heart for people and loved them unconditionally; however, it was a bad flaw in that I never took up for myself either.

Over the years, I gradually learned how to stand up to people when they were taking advantage of me or being inconsiderate or just plain mean and through this process, I learned to love myself more and saw myself as more deserving than to be a free doormat to whomever wanted one. There is nothing wrong with loving people and wanting to be loved in return and to just want to fit in. However, it crosses the line when letting others treat you like you mean little to nothing just to gain their “approval.” As I gained more self-respect, acceptance and love for myself, I was able to put my foot down when the need arose and said, “I will not let you treat me that way.” Of course, there are times to show grace too, but sometimes you need to firmly let people know that you will not be treated a certain way because you refuse to let yourself be treated that way.

Thank God he did not leave me flawed, but changed me into beautifully flawed. Thank God that he helped me see myself through his eyes and that I have the strength and heart to still love others but to love myself in healthy way too. I have come a long way, from being a person who loved others so much but hated myself even more (I grew up thinking I was a big mistake).  Gradually, I grew into a person who accepted herself, beautifully flawed, then liked herself and thinking “yeah, I am a pretty cool cookie,” to loving myself as Christ loves me, beautifully flawed. <3

 

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

The Master Baker



As I was preparing a tres leches cake for my son’s birthday and looking at the many ingredients on the counter while beating egg whites until they were fluffy and then adding sugar to make stiff peaks form, I suddenly had a thought. These ingredients were just like the different things, good or bad, that God allowed into my life to make an end result. Alone and separate, these ingredients could be used for many different things, but unless they were mixed together in certain fashion and in the correct steps, they would not make the end result I was looking for, the tres leches cake. Add too much of this or too little of that, or don’t mix the egg whites long enough, and disaster would result instead of a very moist, heavy and delicious cake.

The same could be said for the good things God gives us (blessings) and the bad things God lets happen to us (our trials and disasters). Too many good things, and we would be spoiled; feeling little need for God in every detail of our lives. The opposite is also true, however; too many disasters and trials, and we could become so weary and worn that we begin to question God’s goodness or love for us. God allows just the right things to come into our lives at just the right moments to make the end result he desires in each one of us.

This is an area I have struggled in at some points in my life, because I feel overwhelmed by years of facing one big trial and getting through it (with God’s help, of course) only to go through another trial just as equally difficult. Many times I have questioned God’s love for me and that perhaps even his goodness must be for certain people, those who have special favor. I often wonder why some people I know have been through so few difficulties and everything almost seems like a fairy tale in their lives, with just a few little bumps and bruises along the way. And then other people, who equally love the Lord, follow and trust Him face one horrible difficulty after another, as in my case. (I am not referring to bad versus good decisions we make and how some people end up with difficulty brought on themselves).

What I do know is that the Lord promises us that he will work all things out for good and that he is using everything in my life, good and bad, and adding them in one at a time with precision, as a master baker would, in order to produce the end result he wants in me. Right now, it is impossible for me to see that any good is going to come out of all the loss I have had to endure along with all the abuse, rejection and failures that have accumulated in my life, even after tremendous effort and prayer to become successful.

Just like when beating those egg whites, I had no idea whether every step I did would produce the end result I wanted until I got to the end result. The end result in my life will be my last day on earth and only viewed as a whole when I see Jesus face to face. I am afraid of the end result, because I am living in the midst of the difficulties now, but I have hope that all will turn out as He says it will in the end. He is a master baker who can turn any tragic life into a beautiful end result, because only He mixes the ingredients perfectly each and every time without flaw.

My son’s birthday cake turned out amazing, but this does not always happen. Sometimes, I have had to make recipes over a second time before they turned out right. However, God never has to re-make anything to make it turn out “right.” As experienced as I am at baking and cooking, even I make an occasional recipe disaster! I am so glad that even though my life feels like one big recipe for disaster at times that the ingredients in my life are perfectly blended by the Master baker, who gets it right the first time, every time!