Adversity = Greatness

I can always spot someone who has been through great adversity a mile away. Almost immediately upon speaking with them, their tender soul oozes with kindness, gentleness, compassion and there is something special about their spirit that carefully exposes their battle scars. There is a special humility about them and an understanding as you begin to share your life with them that they know exactly the hell that you have been through but have been unable to explain to the common man, as he surely would never understand you. The blank stare and subtle lack of warmness becomes a wedge that could never allow a bridge to be built between you, the great warrior who has been through great adversity, and them, who has not felt the bitter pain of deepest pits of anguish, rejection, abuse or loss that you know all too well.

Our natural instinct as humans is to want to avoid great adversity. We want to go around the pain instead of through the pain. We want nothing more than for God to intervene and take it away. Now. For many years, I too was guilty of this...wanting to avoid the painful adversity that always seemed to be around the next corner. I questioned God, pleaded with God, prayed my heart out that God would quickly take me out of what I was facing and even found myself at times disappointed that God seemed so distant and unwilling to help ease my pain when I needed him most.

However, as I have matured in my faith, I have learned to pray through my adversity and ask God for peace, strength, joy and wisdom on what he wanted me to learn though this latest "crisis." I often have to remind myself that God never promised life would be easy, and though life seems so much harder for some people than others, God promised he would be with each one of us no matter what we go through. He also uses these times to give us great wisdom and strength to face the next difficulty down the road. Perhaps the greatest "benefit" to going through great adversity over and over again is that we become much more tender and compassionate to others who are walking through valleys of their own. Some people, myself included, are able to reach many people through encouragement and compassion because we too have been through a wide array of difficulties and can relate to many different trials that others are facing.

When I was in my 20s, I though my world would crumble beyond hope and I would surely shrivel up and die if anything came between me and the love of my life, my husband of 12 years. Never in a thousand years would I have believed I could handle him leaving and me being left to raise two boys completely alone without the aid of family close by. However, God prepared me in various ways before my husband left us that made the transition and the ability to handle each day much easier than had I been through very little adversity up prior to this event.

Going through childhood abuse, for example, taught me that I had the inner strength to get back up (literally and figuratively) and keep fighting. If that did not destroy me, then nothing would,  I found out. There was something inborn that kept me going head strong when I was knocked down and beat up over and over. At times, I even scolded myself for being "too stupid to know when to quit getting back up." This, however, is what has helped me keep going strong through multiple difficulties I have faced as a single parent. I also learned as a child how to figure things out myself and bandage my own wounds, as nobody in my home did so and it was up to me. I learned that I had to "do what I had to do" to survive, and this carried over into my single parenting years.

For those of you who are also great warriors and have been through the fires of adversity far more times than the average person, think back to how you changed a little through each adversity for the better and how you were better prepared for the next trial when it came up. Then think back five years, two years and one year ago and make notes of how you have changed for the better since then. After recalling these things, thank the Lord for bringing you through. He is still the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and he was with you through every one of those fiery furnaces. God's strength never fails and he has an overabundant supply he gladly gives you when you need it most. No matter how much you reach out to him to help you through these times, remember he will gladly supply all you need to keep you from getting burned up in this trial too. Not only that, but he will make you a better, stronger, kinder, more compassionate person, willing and able to help the broken souls around you.

Instead of praying to escape adversity for the sake of easiness and goodness, ask for God to give you what you need to endure adversity for the sake of greatness. You will be glad you did.

Angry at God, Part 2

When you continuously find yourself in the midst of one catastrophe after another, the easiest thing to do is give God the fist and let him know just how angry you are at him for letting you go through this mess. Sometimes, what we are facing is no fault of our own, but the result of bad decisions someone else made that happens to affect us. Other situations we are angry at God about are our own fault.

I know somebody who is mad at God because their marriage fell apart, though they did absolutely nothing to improve or revive the marriage before it was too far gone. Instead of taking responsibility and realizing that maybe they should have changed a few bad behaviors and attitudes or maybe even remained faithful and treated their spouse kindly, they found it far easier to shift the blame to God and quit going to church altogether or having anything to do with him, stating “it’s His fault.” Really? How so? Sometimes, we need to take a step back and see what we need to change that got us in that situation in the first place.  

For those times when we did absolutely nothing to bring something on ourselves, however, but we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and someone else took advantage of the perfect opportunity to attack us or rob us, for example (which happens often in the big city), we would be very wise to turn TO God even more so, realizing He can make good come out of these horrible situations (even though it is natural to be angry at first). Life is full of a lot of twists and turns, “unlucky” breaks and cause and effect scenarios.

The absolute beauty that I have found in turning TO God instead of AWAY from Him when these things happen is that the after-effects and consequences turn out much better and the process of coping much easier with His help! We have a strong tower to run to during these times, and instead of running away from that strong tower, we need to run towards it during these times. Only then will we have a deep down peace and joy to carry us through and only then will we be teachable enough to grow through that difficult situation that happened to us.

Because sin abounds in our society and is getting worse as the days go by, we cannot expect life to keep getting easier. We need to accept this fact and like I always say, “Do the best I can do with what I got and trust God for the outcome.” The only way we can even hope to thrive in this difficult world is to realize that God is ON our side and notice the good He does through those difficult things. We need to accept the good with the bad, as Job did when he faced the catastrophic loss of everything, including all of his children, when he said to his wife after she told him to curse God and die, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” (Job 2:10)

Although I have come a very long way and have learned how to consistently turn TO God during my worst times and depend on Him even more, (and not become angry with him when bad things happen to me), I still have room for growth. Oh, how I long to have Job’s attitude every time that says, “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” (Job 1:21)

We all need to set out purposefully to seek the good in this life that God blesses us with every single day instead of becoming angry with him, which does nothing to benefit or strengthen us in any way. Instead of becoming angry with God when we see suffering in this world, how about we do something to help those who are suffering? We are the hands and feet of Jesus and He put us on earth to care for others and comfort them in their suffering (which we are able to do because of the Holy Spirit) as well as lead them to Him – the way, the truth and the life. We can all do something to help ease the suffering of others in a variety of ways.

If there was no poverty, no victims, no sadness, no illness and no loss of any kind there would be no need for us to show empathy or sympathy to other humans or to help to the less fortunate by blessing them in some way materially or financially. Have you noticed you feel twice as blessed when you bless someone else? Imagine if there was never a need for us to help anyone. We would probably be a bunch of selfish, lazy people who would never know the blessing of helping someone less fortunate. We would not know how to comfort others because nobody would need comforting. To change our perspective and realize the flip side of the coin is crucial if we are going to thrive in the midst of a sin-filled world.

The next time you see something terrible, help out. The next time you experience something terrible, turn your perspective to the strong tower in your life and ask Him to help you see something good in this. The next time you see a sunset or a sunrise, know that there is still good in this world and that God is still good. Focus on a child’s smiling face or the beautiful aroma of a rose or the air after a rainfall, and remember that God is still good. If you are a dog-lover, let your doggie give you kisses until you can’t help but smile so big it hurts. Then realize where all of this good comes from.

Find something that makes you smile, laugh or calm down and experience it to its fullest. Then when something difficult comes along, remember these things and instead of being angry at God, be thankful. If you want to remember these things, write them down in a journal to read when you need reminding of God’s goodness because it is amazing how quickly we forget the good when we need to remember it the most. Works for me. J

My dog

My children

Bubble baths

The aroma in the air after the rain

Autumn leaves

The sand and waves (beach)

My church family

The rainbow after a storm

Crisp, white snow

The beautiful array of colors in a sunset

Clouds shaped like objects

The feeling of sand between my toes

Laughter of a friend, family member

My rose bush in full bloom

The hug from a friend

 

Angry at God, Part 1

When we see countless suffering going on around us with no apparent relief, we sometimes question where God is. If He is such a good and loving God, why do people have to suffer so much? Why do innocent children get abused and innocent people get shot, stabbed, robbed or hit by drunk drivers and God does absolutely nothing to stop these things? Why did I have to grow up in an abusive home where I felt unwanted and unloved by my parents? Why did the husband I loved with all my heart have to cheat on me, only to leave me and the kids? Why do I have to work so much harder than everyone else, only to continue to have to struggle uphill both ways?

I have heard these questions posed by several people, just in the last year. These same people then say, “Well if God is like that, then I don’t want him.” If truth be told, I myself have asked these very same questions. The only difference is that I have chosen to STILL trust Him and STILL follow Him, no matter what.

I think if you are honest too, you would say that you have also been angry at God at one time or another. I think it is human nature to be angry when we do not understand why something bad happens and God seems to be nowhere in the midst of it. The important thing is that we get past that anger and get to a place where we can continue to trust God, no matter what. We need to work through that anger, even if it takes getting it all out of our system first. God is big. Actually, he is HUGE! He knows our hearts and what makes us hurt, what makes us tick and the fact that our minds are far too finite to sometimes comprehend the whys of life.

I have wrestled with God and I have been angry with God. I have felt at times that God did not love me and even caused some of the bad things to happen to me that I have been through. Again, the important thing was that I prayed through those periods and once again, came back to a place of complete faith and trust in Him. I had to make a full circle, realizing that God was on my side and He was never going to leave me in the middle of my doubts, fear, hurt and anger without bringing me back around to Him. Through the years, this has become a much easier, shorter process.

Truth is, we just need reminding of God’s promises and who He is. Nowhere does the Bible say that we will not have struggles and hardships in this life. God does promise us in His Word, however, that He will never leave or forsake us, that He is fighting for us (the battle is not ours to fight alone), that He is faithful and good and perfect in all of his ways. The 23^rd Psalm tells us that, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are (He is) with me…”

Through the bad things I have experienced in life, I have always seen small glimpses of God’s goodness, usually on the back end. I can always see how He got me through that particular difficulty and brought me through stronger than I was before. I can see how good things have come out of those situations when I calmed down, went to prayer and asked God to help me make sense of what happened. He has always given me deep down peace and joy through the situation, even if He did not ever reveal to me why this happened.

The easiest thing to do when faced with something tragic or when things continuously blow up in our face and leave us feeling defeated in a pile of ashes is to give up and turn away from God, shaking our fist at Him and saying, “Well, if that is how You are, then I don’t need or want You in my life!” I have learned through 45 years of life experience that the easy way is NEVER the best way. When something has to be fought for, it is well worth the fight!

A relationship with our creator is the most important, priceless treasure that all the money in the world could never buy! The more difficulties we have to face, the more precious this relationship becomes! Although I admit I have been angry at God, I worked through it, confessed my anger and asked for His grace to help me get through it. I realize every single day that I need Him in my life just to make it another day, month or year and without Him, life is very hopeless.

If you are at that point right now where you are angry at God and about to give up on Him, remember that he will never give up on you! He loves you and wants to help you. He wants you to be honest with Him about how you feel (He knows exactly how you feel anyway, even more so than you even know)! You are at a crossroads at this point…you can walk away for eternity in anger or you can move past your anger and ask Him to help you trust Him more in the midst of the terrible things that happen to you or in the world around you.

I personally make it a point to spend time meditating and praying about the difficulty I am facing or have recently faced and finding the small glimpses of anything good, no matter how small, and thanking God for that, realizing that He will make beauty from the ashes of this mess too. After all, He is still faithful and He is still good!

The bad things on earth are temporary. This is not our permanent home and before we know it, life will be over and eternity will await us. Where we spend it depends on what we did with this life and who we trusted in the midst of all the bad.

 

"Struck Down, But Not Destroyed" by Marie Rose (available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble & WestBow press, a division of Thomas Nelson, Zondervan)

http://www.christianbook.com/struck-down-but-not-destroyed/9781490896021/pd/896021?product_redirect=1&Ntt=896021&item_code=&Ntk=keywords&event=ESRCP 

Running TO Jesus

I grew up with exercise-induced asthma. Any amount of running, no matter how short the distance, set my lungs on fire and threw me into a wheezing cough. Through the years, I tried picking up jogging at a really slow pace, but after a while, the same thing would happen and it felt like I was going to cough up a lung. I chose instead to bicycle, take long walks and participate in one of my favorite activities, swimming. Although these activities were easier on my lungs, swimming made my lungs almost feel like they were fully inflated and almost as if pressurized. It was a strange feeling and it did not keep me from one of my favorite past-times.

When I turned 40 I developed chronic wheezing and an annoying though not too bothersome chronic cough 24 hours a day. I started asthma medication, which helped for about a year but then I started to develop a bad case of asthmatic bronchitis during the winter time (for three years in a row), which made my previously chronic low-grade asthma a more pronounced chronic asthma. When going up to twice a day on my medication no longer helped, I had to go to a twice a day inhaler along with the medication.

One of the things I often thought about when my asthma worsened was the day I would be in heaven and I could run without my lungs being on fire and without feeling like I was going to hack up a lung. I dreamed of running across a very large flower-covered field TO Jesus, and I was going to run fast and without pain for the first time ever into his loving arms. I was going to take advantage of it too. I often had that dream, even at night, and it made me smile. I could not even imagine how glorious that was going to feel.

Though many of you may not be able to relate to having asthma or the feeling of your lungs burning and feeling like you are about to hack up your lungs, there may be other things that will prevent you from running (literally or figuratively) toward God someday in heaven. Maybe something bad happened in your life and you decided you no longer believe in God if this is how things are going to be. Maybe you are beginning to have doubts about God as a loving, caring God who wants to save you because of all the evil in this world. How could so many bad things happen when there is supposed to be a God who sees all things and we are told he still loves us and cares for us? When my husband (or wife) walked out and abandoned me and our children, saying he/she no longer loved us after many years in a seemingly happy marriage, where was God?

The key here is to realize that as long as we live in this sin-filled earth, things will continue to get worse until Jesus returns again, as the Bible said it would. Sin will continue to spiral further down and things will get harder. This, however, changes nothing about God’s character. This says a lot about man’s character and how, when left to our own devices and desires, things spiral out of control and bad things happen at an increasingly alarming rate.

Instead of running towards Jesus, the world is running away from him, and we see the results every day throughout our world. God does not cause the bad things to happen in this world, sin does. God gives us free will to choose how we are going to live and unfortunately, the majority of people chase other things besides a relationship with Christ.

Many people will die not knowing how it will feel to run to Jesus for the first time without pain and all the other earthly miseries that tie earthly bodies down. They will sadly choose to continue living in unending pain for eternity and not knowing the joy that will come from running at top-notch speed towards the one who came and died for them, even while they were yet living in sin. He wants that all of us choose him and life on this earth that will last through eternity. This earth is temporary but life after death is permanent. Although people have hundreds of excuses why they “don’t believe” in God or in heaven, or why they are angry at God and choose to turn away from him, they will one day find out the real truth, that heaven and eternity are for real and that our decision on earth to run towards Christ or away from him has eternal consequences.

On a side note, God completely touched and healed my chronic, worsening asthma! Right before he healed my asthma, even the inhaler had begun to lose its effectiveness. Things did not look good from that point of view, which was discouraging, but I still kept my eyes on the fact that at least one day, even if it meant waiting until I got to heaven, it would be healed. I went to bed one night after a special healing service at church and being prayed for and anointed for healing and woke up the very next morning with no more chronic cough and the wheezing was completely gone! I have not touched the inhaler or medication since that day!

If you have pictured yourself running to Jesus (if you are saved and heaven-bound), what things do you see that tie you down now that would be gone in heaven? Despite those things that limit you on earth, do you still believe or have those things turned you away from Christ?

In order to run to Christ in heaven, we must run to him now…while still on earth.

CHAPTER 14, "The Lord Who Heals You," in Struck Down, But Not Destroyed (Marie Rose). Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Thomas Nelson/Zondervan