Green Pastures, Part I

If we are not careful, it is very easy to get wrapped up in the worries and stresses of life. Anxiety and depression are at an all-time high. Our society thrives on the mindset of squeezing as many activities as possible into every single day to make life “better.” Got to have the kids in every activity and then some to keep them busy. All it ends up doing, however, is stressing them out, stressing you and your family out and prevents you from forming meaningful relationships with neighbors and friends. There is great cost to running the “rat race” day in and day out, one of which is disconnect to others in our society.

Go back 30 years or so to when I was growing up, and we were home almost every night, together. However, we worked very, very hard doing chores inside and out. At the crack of dawn on Saturdays, we were pulled out of bed to start working again. Activities outside the home were somewhat limited, but we would on occasion visit with neighbors and our extended family, most of whom lived within 15 minutes of our house. The world did not revolve around dance classes, gymnastics, sports and the like. Work, work, work was the mantra of our day.

The most important thing to remember in every area of life is moderation. Although activities can teach some important skills as can working hard to help the family out, these too need to be done in moderation. Rest was God’s idea. He even rested on the seventh day from creating the entire universe and everything in it! If He did it, then we should too!

Growing up in that kind of environment made it nearly impossible for me to learn how to rest, and have fun with my friends and family. Especially when I became a single mom, where there was always too much to do and not enough time. Rest? Lay down? Chill in the pool with the kids? Who had time for that?

In 2012, after 42 years of living ragged like this, my body could not handle it anymore. I had the left side of my body go limp and I started to get a lot of numbness and tingling in my arms and legs. When I called the doctor, her office told me it sounded like I may have had a mini stroke. Testing came out negative for that, but that was the beginning of a wakeup call. Then, the Lord told me very specifically in 2013 that it’s “okay to rest. You need to rest your body and rest in me.” Talk about a huge request from God! However, I knew that He was asking me to do this for a reason, so I asked Him to help me do this as it was nearly impossible for me to do this on my own, having grown up with “work, work, work” alone being ingrained into my very being. I learned a strong work ethic and our house looked spotless inside and out, but it also made it hard to do what even God Himself did on the seventh day, rest.

Psalm 23:1-2 speaks of rest. When our focus turns to Him daily in the midst of the busyness of life, we immediately feel rested and are at peace, no matter what is going on in our lives. Nothing else can bring the amazing peace and rest that only He brings. THE LORD “is my shepherd, I shall not be in want” (vs 1) of anything! When we meditate on this, we are completely at rest, knowing that no matter what we are facing, we will not be in want, because HE is our shepherd. “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters…” (vs 2). What an ultimate picture of rest! Close your eyes and picture yourself lying in a green pasture. What do you see and feel? Green pastures are vivid with the colors of the flowers, the big, beautiful blue sky and thick green grass, soft, cool and comforting to the touch.

Notice that verse 2 does not say that “he hopes or wants that I lie down in green pastures (a picture of perfect rest).” It says that he “makes me lie down in green pastures.” Occasional rest is just what the ultimate “doctor” ordered. If we cannot do this on our own, sometimes God allows situations to come into our lives to reset our priorities and make us rest. In my case, my health took a turn for the worse and I am still battling health difficulties, but I have learned through this that it is ok to occasionally rest my body.

 Then he says that he “leads me (gently) beside quiet waters,” not “leads me hurriedly beside rushing waters.” Another perfect picture of rest with our precious Lord. When we learn to do this, it becomes our favorite, and most rewarding, part of the day! I would take one solid quiet hour with Him over a whole day doing anything else! Won’t you join me in spending at the very least one hour a day in His presence, resting in Him, talking with Him and meditating on His Word? J

Facing Your Demons

I grew up in a very abusive home, and along with that came a feeling of constant unrest in my home growing up. There was always a heavy cloud of fear, unrest and even a hint of a scary, or demonic, presence that seemed to lurk in the background. I was terrified of the dark and remember covering up my entire head at night just so I could get to sleep, only leaving my nose out to breathe. Every night, my heart pounded after I turned off the lights, as if I were expecting something to attack me after the lights went out. When I was about 12 years old, I remember having a dream that I was the victim in a satanic ritual. It was terrifying and woke me up out of a deep sleep.

Many nights I spent praying for God to protect me and help me not feel this intense fear that seemed to take over when the sun went down every night. I remember my mom would look in at me through the crack in the door after she had thought I fell asleep and stare at me for what seemed like a very long time. I always feared what she was thinking about. Was she angry at me about something? Was she waiting for just the right moment to come in and harm me? She never did anything, but I always kept one eye open and watched her back, so I could be ready if something did happen.

My faith was strong as a child and I loved going to church; I also had amazing Godly relatives who were a source of light and strength for me. I have no doubt that God had his protective hand on me throughout my childhood. Not only was there the physical, emotional and verbal abuse I had to endure day after day for 18 years, but also the feeling that something resembling the demonic was living in that home as well. However, the good news in situations like this is that we have a promise in the Word of God that says in I John 4:4, “You…are from God and have overcome…because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” (NIV)

Rest in God, trusting Him and knowing that He will protect you in danger and help you overcome anything that happens to you. Not only that, He will use what others meant for bad and turn it into good. Of course, it took a long time to get through the effects of the abuse and it required that I forgive my parents so that I could move on and open myself up to let God restore me and rise about my abuse. I am an overcomer…how about you?

 

“Be Still And Know”

With all of the chaos going on in the world around us now, combined with the stress of being a single parent and responsibilities too numerous to count, it is far too easy to focus on the stress of life and get very discouraged and anxious. I learned early on as a single parent that one of the most important things I can do for myself and my family is to have a little quiet time to myself each day to relax and soak up God’s presence (in addition to my regular quiet time with Him). The same can be said for anybody.

When the stress, struggles and chaos seem to be squeezing the very breath out of me, I have to constantly remind myself to re-focus on the Lord and rest in Him. Even the worst stress, chaos and struggles in life all wrapped up into one are NO match for the peace, hope and joy that God brings! Rest is God’s idea, and a gift from Him, and should be utilized regularly to recharge our batteries. When we are still before the Lord, He brings us rest.

One time in particular, something had happened with one of my sons and it was something I had prayed very specifically that would never happen to either of my kids. I was at a loss for words and all I could do is drop to my knees and cry out to heaven. Why did this happen when I poured so much prayer into this, and it seems to have happened anyway? At that moment, I heard the voice of the Lord say, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) Immediately, I knew that despite how the circumstance looked at the moment, the Lord was telling me to be still and trust Him to take care of this, which He did, and everything was not as it seemed in the beginning.

People spend billions of dollars a year on things to take away stress, and though many of these things are wonderful and enjoyable, they are only temporary. Vacations end, Jacuzzi tubs fizzle out and get cold, massages are short-lived and a day at the spa can leave you with an empty pocketbook. However, the peace that comes from quietly resting in God’s presence takes away even the worst stress and lasts longer than anything else. Be still, and know that HE is God in all the mess! The best thing is, it’s free and available to all! J

Unemployed and Hopeless!

I had been at the company for only two years when the first round of layoffs hit. My job survived until the very end of this first round, when they finally had to lay me off too. The company was quickly losing business as the economy took a big turn for the worse, and a halt was put on the house building industry, which affected us directly.

After one week of being gone, I got a phone call from the ops manager asking me to come back in a different position that needed filling as someone had just quit, and they really wanted me to have first dibs at the job before they searched outside the company. It was a higher position than the one I left with, but the pay would be a lateral move from my old position. At that point, I did not care that the pay would be the same; this single mom just wanted and needed a job!

About six months later, more layoffs. Each department was cut in half and we were running on a skeleton crew. I survived the first three or four rounds of layoffs until my head was inevitably “placed on the chopping block” and I too was laid off (again). Soon afterwards, the company closed its doors.

Right after the first layoff, I started a training program to get certified in medical transcription. Now, I at least had this new skill that I could use to find a new job. I was not expecting it to take very long until I found another job, especially with all the different types of experience I had in different fields and now I had medical transcription certification on top of that. However, it took a LONG eight months before I would find another job after this final layoff.

God provided every need while I was unemployed (through unemployment, which was not much, and child support). We never went without a meal and all of my basic living expenses were paid out of the very meager checks I lived on during that time. I busted my chops five days a week trying to find another job to no avail. I went to job fairs, applied for every job I heard about by word of mouth, jobs listed in the paper and online and even dropped of resumes to clinics and hospitals to no avail. After six months, I got really burned out and felt completely hopeless as I tried so hard to do everything I could, but I still did not get any offers. So, even though God was providing our basic necessities, and I saw Him come through many times, I was still very discouraged.

At that six-month point, I realized that I was beginning to tie my value as a person to having a job. Society did a great job feeding into that feeling of hopelessness. I noticed for the first time that everyone asks what you do for a living (where you work) when they first meet you, and it really irritated and embarrassed me, especially when I was trying so hard to get a job to no avail.

One morning in particular during this time, I woke up crying and could not stop all morning. I had hit a low point. I was on my knees crying out to God to help us financially, to get me a job and to give me HOPE. I cried out, “God, if you could just show me HOPE that there’s a job out there for me, I could handle this better. All I’m asking for is HOPE right now…Something…ANYTHING!!!!” About 30 minutes after I prayed this, my doorbell rang. A single mom friend of mine whom I had not seen in months was on my doorstep. She hurriedly said, “I am on my lunch break and am almost late getting back to work so I have to go, but God kept telling me to drop this off to you…NOW.” She handed me a CD. I thanked her and put it in as soon as she left.

Would you believe that EVERY song on there with the exception of one or two of them, was about HOPE? Hope in God, hope in our circumstances and the hope we have for a good future because of God’s faithfulness. That was far too coincidental to be anything but a direct answer to my prayer for the hope I needed to find a new job! That CD gave me a new level of hope, energy and determination to go back out and hit the pavement even harder until I got my new job! Praise God that He gives us the hope we need as we need it! His grace is sufficient for me!