Facing Your Demons

I grew up in a very abusive home, and along with that came a feeling of constant unrest in my home growing up. There was always a heavy cloud of fear, unrest and even a hint of a scary, or demonic, presence that seemed to lurk in the background. I was terrified of the dark and remember covering up my entire head at night just so I could get to sleep, only leaving my nose out to breathe. Every night, my heart pounded after I turned off the lights, as if I were expecting something to attack me after the lights went out. When I was about 12 years old, I remember having a dream that I was the victim in a satanic ritual. It was terrifying and woke me up out of a deep sleep.

Many nights I spent praying for God to protect me and help me not feel this intense fear that seemed to take over when the sun went down every night. I remember my mom would look in at me through the crack in the door after she had thought I fell asleep and stare at me for what seemed like a very long time. I always feared what she was thinking about. Was she angry at me about something? Was she waiting for just the right moment to come in and harm me? She never did anything, but I always kept one eye open and watched her back, so I could be ready if something did happen.

My faith was strong as a child and I loved going to church; I also had amazing Godly relatives who were a source of light and strength for me. I have no doubt that God had his protective hand on me throughout my childhood. Not only was there the physical, emotional and verbal abuse I had to endure day after day for 18 years, but also the feeling that something resembling the demonic was living in that home as well. However, the good news in situations like this is that we have a promise in the Word of God that says in I John 4:4, “You…are from God and have overcome…because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” (NIV)

Rest in God, trusting Him and knowing that He will protect you in danger and help you overcome anything that happens to you. Not only that, He will use what others meant for bad and turn it into good. Of course, it took a long time to get through the effects of the abuse and it required that I forgive my parents so that I could move on and open myself up to let God restore me and rise about my abuse. I am an overcomer…how about you?