Taken for Granted

We have all been taken for granted at one time or another by those we love and care about. And we too (gulp) have taken those we love for granted. When things in life go smoothly, it is very easy to forget the small things as well as important things and just assume that those we love will be there for us when we need them.

This concept could be carried over to our physical body too, specifically to the small, “insignificant” muscles and joints in our body. When everything is working well, we don’t think anything about them. However, work out at the gym for an hour and see how many muscles and joints you suddenly have that you never knew you had before! Just like our joints and muscles, our friends and family are extremely important in our day-to-day life. But watch what happens when for one reason or other, something in life hits us hard and for one reason or the other, we find ourselves alone. Suddenly, the ones you assumed would always be there may not, for one reason or the other, be there. Now we realize something is not right, or even missing, and we feel every bit of the reality that sometimes we have to learn to stand on our own two feet (with God, of course!). In some cases they choose not to be there, but in other cases, life happens and sometimes they just cannot be there for us.

Do you think the same thing could happen in our relationship with the Lord? When everything is going well, we don’t tend to think of God’s compassion, presence, protection, security and provision like we do when a crisis happens and we are suddenly reminded of all that God really is to us. Do you think this hurts God as much as it hurts us when we are taken for granted by someone we love? I would venture to say yes, that He too is hurt when we think little about Him except in times of need.

Walking with Him and being in His presence is a daily commitment, done from our hearts because we love Him and desire to grow our relationship with Him. Anything of value takes some type of work to keep it going, especially good relationships. However, the cost is always worth it if the relationship is valued. If the relationship is not very important, you are less likely to invest time and energy into it. Our relationship with the Lord needs to be held in highest regard every day, and not something to be tossed aside or ignored unless we need something. Unfortunately, this is what we are doing when we take things (or people or even God) for granted.

Besides taking people for granted, how many times do we take things like sight, smell, taste or pain-free living for granted? The majority of people do not even think about these things. But get a bad head cold and we find out how quickly we miss our sense of smell and taste and complain of the inconvenience. How about instead of complaining of the inconvenience, we give God praise and thank Him for these things that we normally have, which are gifts from Him to enjoy?

I admit, I used to take things such as my spine being fully flexible and pain-free for granted until I developed moderate to severe spinal problems that caused chronic pain that brought me to tears at times. However, since God has done some amazing, dramatic healings in my spine, I have learned not to take these things for granted anymore! On the days where I actually feel no pain at all (which is not very often), I thank God and praise Him for the pain-free days and I am fully aware of how much worse things could have been had He not healed my spine! Although it has been a long, hard road, I am very thankful for the progress that has been made in the past two years!

There was also a time where, around the time I was finally diagnosed with my Multiple Sclerosis (after two years of not knowing what was wrong, having multiple tests run and countless problems ruled out and having progressive difficulties neurologically), I was losing strength in my legs over the period of a few months. I could not stand up at all unless I pulled myself up to my feet by holding onto something or pushing up on the arms of the chair with all the strength in my arms to come to a stand. I had to hold on to the top of the car door and pull myself out of the car with my arms in order to get on my feet. It was getting more difficult to walk and it was beginning to take noticeably longer and take more energy to get from point A to point B.

Being only 42 at the time, I knew this was not normal and not a good thing. Scary, in fact. However, God did a miracle in that situation as well! I fully believe in the power of prayer and anointing to be healed (in which faith plays a vital part) and the very next day after being anointed and prayed over by my pastor, my legs were completely back to normal again! Before this time, I had never thanked God that I could get up and walk normally without even a thought. Truthfully, I never even thought about it before. Now, it is a totally different story because I fully realize that without God’s touch at that moment, I could easily have been reliant on an assistive device to help me walk by now. How I (often) thank God for being able to walk on my own now with absolutely no help!!! I no longer take such a simple thing for granted anymore and am very, very grateful!

I do not know what the future holds and how far or how quickly my MS will progress. However, I know the One who holds the power in His hands to give me the ability to do things I normally would not have been able to do on my own. I fully trust the Hands that have already begun a healing work inside my body and will continue to trust Him for my health, no matter which direction it takes. This is one person who is very thankful for the things I used to take for granted!

God of All Comfort

II Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”  (NIV) Do you notice the two words, “so that?” The reason God comforts us in our time of need is so that when somebody else is hurting, we too can comfort them in their time of suffering. Imagine if we were left alone to comfort ourselves in trouble? Or, imagine if we received this comfort from God but hoarded it for ourselves and refused to give it to others when they needed it most?

It seems that those who hurt the most and have been through the most make the best comforters. It does not take long to see who has had a pretty good life with very few, if any, deep valleys along the way by their reaction when you or someone else is hurting. I suppose that is one reason I consider myself blessed for having been through many, many more deep valleys than the vast majority of people. I am very sensitive to the feelings of others, even if they do not let on they are hurting. It makes me quick to ask, “Are you okay?” or “Can I pray for you?”

I believe this could include giving comfort to those hurting from past mistakes, regrets or sins for which they are now paying the consequences. Though it is never right to condone their bad choices or sinful mistakes, we need to be there for those who matter to us. Do we become angry with an “I told you so” attitude or do we just give them a warm hug and say we love them, pray with them and say we will be there for them?

I have a very dear friend whose son has been in prison for six years. She was heartbroken when he got locked up. One of the first things she told me was that, “I did not raise him that way.” The pain she feels from missing out on the past six years with her son, especially around the holidays, her birthday and at Christmas is very apparent. First time offender and did not even get into any trouble as a kid. As a matter of fact, he was a “great kid, easy-going. Could not have asked for a better kid.” However, she has never made excuses for him or what he did to get put in prison though it has still been difficult for her.

When she told me that almost every one of his friends abandoned him when he got locked up, I told her (who is like my very own sister that I wanted and never had) that I would write to him and send him cards on his birthdays and holidays. I had never met him previously in person, but I feel like I have known him for years because of how much my dear friend has talked about him. My heart went out to him, and I felt compassion for someone I had never met who had made some big mistakes along the way and lost his friends because of those mistakes.

I must say that I feel blessed every time I get a letter from him. From his letters, I can tell that in some way I am encouraging him and making a difference in his life. Besides, I have a very captive audience when I send him a long letter that most people would not even take the time to read if I had mailed it to them. I go on and on with things that I am sure would bore most people to tears, but he is always so grateful for every piece of mail he gets. I have never been in his situation, but I can still reach out in compassion and try to comfort him in a very dark place in his life as one who has received much comfort from God in my dark places. If this draws him closer to the Lord and helps him get through another day, then my letter writing “ministry” was well worth every stroke of the pen.

This is not something I recommend that everyone do, as you can potentially place yourself in a dangerous situation. However, when it is a dear friend who has been there for you and has been like a big sister to you, then you just need to do those things for them. Compassion is a lost art that needs to be brought back again!

I grew up in a home where there was NO compassion and comfort shown. However, I learned this form of art even though I went through a very, very difficult childhood because GOD was my comfort, and in turn, I have been able to comfort and be compassionate towards the hurting by His example to me.

I never met anyone who has changed the world for the better by being uncaring towards the hurting but I have met many people who have changed the world, or at least their corner of the world, by being a comfort to the hurting. Will you change your corner of the world by showing compassion and being a comfort to someone else who needs it, even a stranger? We can bring back the lost art of compassion (and comfort) simply by sharing with others what God has first shown us in our time of need.

Change your part of the world, one person at a time!

Taken from Chapter 10, “Hope Found Amidst a ‘Hopeless’ Situation,” Struck Down, But Not Destroyed

Small Acts of Kindness

In a culture such as ours, bigger is better. Bigger value meals, bigger vehicles, bigger homes and bigger “toys.” Due to this, we tend to only notice the big things, whatever those may be. How easily we feel slighted when someone gets something bigger than us or better than us.

However, that there are still a small minority of people out there, who, like me, notice and value the littlest of things. I have been through far too much in my life and done without too many things to overlook the littlest of things. A single flower growing in the middle of the grass, a robin walking across the yard, a small bar of beautiful hand soap from a friend, a card in the mail, clouds in the shapes of every day objects and a skink running across my porch are things I get excited about!

I think that God enjoys it when we look at and take notice of the little things in life! After all, He does! He knows the number of hairs on each of our heads and has names for each star in the heavens! Nothing escapes his notice…not for a minute.

Have you ever noticed how each type of bird has its own distinct chirp? How about the vast number of species of things like bugs and lizards? These things we tend to be too busy to even notice, but God himself notices because He created such a wide variety of things to be enjoyed by us. If we are too busy even to stop and notice the little things, then we are doing too much.

Before my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and moderate to severe spinal problems, I confess I was too busy to notice many little things. I had three part time jobs while raising my teenagers alone. About a year before my diagnoses, I started having a lot of neurological problems and issues with pain on some days. I had to gradually begin to slow down and learn that taking it easy was okay to do once in a while. I was running on high-speed like the energizer bunny. It was in the middle of all of this that the Lord started speaking to me, telling me to “rest.” That was a very difficult, if not impossible, request from God to me but I knew that He was telling me to rest for a reason, and I needed to figure out how to go about doing this. Obviously, I had to ask the Lord’s help in this area.

I started pacing myself more and not trying to live up to the supermom ideal I had held myself up to. Then came these physical problems followed by my employer retiring, leaving me with only one part-time job. Instead of stressing about it, however, I chose to use that time to learn to rest more and stop and “smell the roses,” so to speak. I began to notice a lot of little things that I had not even noticed previously and enjoy them too!

I will never forget one time in particular right after my diagnosis of MS, and also the diagnosis of my mom’s Parkinson’s disease as well as a lot of other really difficult situations going on during this time, when one of my kid’s teachers looked at me and said with compassion and kindness in her voice while staring straight at me, “How are you REALLY doing?” At that moment, I teared up a little as I said “Ok, but I have been better.” She then proceeded to say “I think you need a hug” as she proceeded to hug me and just held me for a bit. That was one of the few times in my life where I felt that God really cared about me and loved me the most, and that at least one person on this earth really truly cared about my hurt during this particular time. When I got this news and started sharing it with others, I got a lot of blank stares, little smiles and even silence; many of my “friends” began to disappear when I got this news.

A simple hug. It doesn’t cost anything, words are not even necessary and it only takes a few seconds of your life. Hearing the words “I’ll pray for you” in passing are needed during these times too, but too many people say this without really even meaning it. A hug takes little effort on our part but means a lot to the recipient. Jesus reached out to hurting people by a touch of His hand as well, and I imagine He probably hugged a lot of people too.

As a struggling single mom, I used to have a difficult time feeling that I could make a difference to someone else because I have such limited resources. However, at that moment, I realized that it just takes the little things that are free to give and take very little time on my part, and these things mean the world to someone who is hurting! Even saying a warm “hi” with a smile can make a stranger’s day better.

I recently started a “texting ministry” where I send texts to people I know who are going through a hard time, sending them encouraging verses throughout the week and then praying for them. I have also taken pictures of something I know that a friend may enjoy (of my dog to my dog-loving friends or of a beautiful bird in my yard if I know they love birds) and text it to them. I have also gone to the dollar store and loaded up a small basket of bottled water and snacks to take to people I know who are in the hospital (which is not very often). I spend roughly $10 and deliver it to them. They are so very appreciative and it takes very little time and money to show a little bit of kindness when they need it most. Sending small notes of encouragement to someone I have not talked to in a while also makes a big difference, as I have been on the receiving end of that gesture also.

And then, there is the good, old fashioned stand-by of a simple hug and looking someone in the eye and saying, “How are you really doing?” and waiting for their response as you really hear them out. Taking a meal to a friend who just had an outpatient procedure really makes a big difference as well (it does not matter how small or simple it is) and so does taking a plate of freshly baked cookies to a neighbor.  I think we need to get back to the small acts of kindness and reach out to the hurting around us. There is never a shortage of hurting people, or a shortage of small acts of kindness we can show.

Excerpts taken from Chapter 13, “Struck Down, But Not Destroyed.”