Soul Healer

Occasionally, I find myself overwhelmed with extreme gratitude for what God has brought me out of and healed me from! I went from an abusive childhood to being married (after college) to a man who ended up being unfaithful and became physically abusive at the very end of our marriage. My spirit was literally broken twice from both abusive environments. Both situations left me feeling hopeless, worthless and broken. I even questioned at times why I was even created in the first place if those who were supposed to love me the most ended up hurting me the worst. I felt that if these people who were closest to me and were family were unloving, then God must not love me either.

However, no matter how bad it got God held his mighty, gracious hand on me all those years and kept me from becoming destroyed as a result. He kept me from turning to bad things to numb my pain, such as drugs, alcohol or the streets. This is a miracle considering that the majority of people who go through what I went through turned to at least one very destructive behavior, which just made things a lot worse for themselves. He also saved me from myself when I wanted nothing more than to end it all.

He had a purpose and a plan for my life when I thought there was no purpose for me even being here. I felt like a mistake. My parents obviously did not want me and neither did my husband. Like Job, I cursed the day I was born and even felt angry at times because I felt that God sat back as I suffered so much while he did nothing to stop what I went through. He could have easily stopped these things from happening and I did not deserve to go through those things, especially when I tried so hard to live right and do the right thing, no matter how hard it was. However, he gave me great strength and endurance to make it through those things intact and stronger than ever before. My walk with the Lord would not be as strong as it is today nor would my faith be what it is today had I not been through those things.

The first thing I always do when I start praying is thank God and praise Him for who he is and what he has done in my life! I also thank him for the blessings he has given me. Then I go into my regular prayer time. Sometimes, I get “stuck” in this time of praise and thankfulness, as I did earlier this week when I became overwhelmed with gratitude for how God healed my broken spirit…twice. It truly is miraculous to think how things turned out in spite of what I have been through and how God is finally using what I went through to help others!

Everything I went through in life was like a bunch of broken pieces of jagged glass that were put together by God and handcrafted into a beautiful mosaic, or as an old piece of cloth sewed together with other old pieces of cloth to form a beautiful quilt. If your life seems like nothing good has come out of it, remember that God sees the big picture. He will fit all the jagged pieces of your life into a beautiful mosaic that will astound you. He promises to finish the good work that he started in you, if you remain faithful to him and place your trust in him.

When I had that moment earlier this week where I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for God healing my broken spirit in the way that he did, he suddenly brought to my mind that in the 23^rd Psalm, it says that “…he restoreth my soul.” Indeed, he does. He will restore your soul too, no matter how broken it is.

Praise God! He is the ultimate Soul Healer! J