What I Learned

Usually when we have gone through a difficult season in life, we tend to look at that time as a “waste of time” or question why we had to go through that time to begin with. It is far easier to look back, shed some tears and shake our heads as if questioning God in our minds why we had to even go through that season. We can think things such as, “Was God punishing me? Did I make him angry?”

However, instead of taking that approach, it would be far better to think back at what you learned through that season. When you focus on what you learned instead of the difficulty of the process, the plethora of knowledge gained after you walked away from that season is amazing! Then you can see the value in it.

Now that we are putting our house up for sale and anticipating a move out of state in a much better job market, I have begun to reflect over the past 13 years here. It has indeed been a very difficult season for my family. Our first few months here started out very rough, me being a newly single mom and having to not only learn my way around this new city but now I was being pushed back into the workforce after being out of it for several years.

There have been some great times here too and I have met some of the most amazing people and seen and experienced some very enjoyable new things too. I always try to look for adventure and new things to do and never tire of learning new things. I have tried hard to make the best out of our time here, as difficult as circumstances have been for us. There are things I have really loved about living here and some things I have hated about living here, which is typical for anybody who has moved from place to place over an extended period of time.

At first thought, the past 13 years have seemed more or less tolerable. Not to say there weren’t some great things that happened and new things I learned and new friends I made, but overall it has really been a struggle when looking at the overall big picture. I decided to get a journal and, being the avid writer that I am, start documenting things about my time here, the fun things I have done, the cultural differences about living in this part of the country versus where I have lived before, new “words” and terms I never heard until moving here and also the things I have learned while living here.

When I sat down to start writing, I was shocked at how many things I wrote down that I have learned in just the past 13 years! I was writing things so quickly so as to not forget anything that my writing became almost illegible. Page after page, I continued to write down one thing after the other that I have learned through this long, difficult season; some very valuable lessons indeed! Because I love to learn, I got more and more excited with every stroke of the pen! These past 13 years have NOT been a waste, they have been a gold mine of valuable lessons learned first-hand!

Here are a few of the things I have learned:

·         When God is all I have, God is all I need

·         The Lord has a sense of humor, so pray very specifically! J

·         Many people have hurt me and many of them are fake. Really treasure the genuine people

·         God allows people to leave my life for a reason. Do not chase after them!

·         Writing a book and getting it published takes lots of time, dedication and thick skin!

·         Tithing really works, even when I “can’t afford it.” God provides in miraculous and fun ways!

·         Expect nothing from anybody, even God. Then you will not get hurt, angry or disappointed!Be delightfully surprised and thankful when people or God go above & beyond

·         Many times, I do not have to say a word to someone who is hurting. Just be there

·         Even beautiful, successful people can have giant personal battles we know nothing about even if their life seems “perfect.”

·         Smile and be kind always, even to the grumpy co-worker. You will eventually win them over.

·         I learned a new skill (medical transcription), got good at it and really enjoyed that as a new career path!

·         No matter how broken my spirit has been, God will always restore it!

·         Every time I verbally share my testimony, God chips off another part of the broken “me” and smooths it over, healing another part of my brokenness

·         Usually when God tells me to do something, it does not make sense. When I am obedient, however, he blows me away with the results!

·         Doing something small for someone can change their life and in turn, change other lives

·         Being lonely and married is MUCH harder to endure than being lonely and single!

·         I have learned to sit alone in church, go to a movie by myself and eat in a restaurant alone and be completely fine with it (and not panic like I used to, feeling like I always needed someone with me in fear of being thought of as a loser). I even went to the beach alone (6-hour drive) for a long weekend and relaxed. It was magical! J

·         How to catch a blue-tailed skink after it sneaks into my house and a scared sparrow after it flies in through the door

·         Resting is okay! We all need it regularly to re-charge our batteries. Don’t feel guilty about it!

·         Live with no regrets. This makes me think things through beforehand & brings peace afterwards.

·         Find the one good thing in everyone and focus on that.

·         Some friends are even better than family. Thank God for them. Treasure my family members who are good friends.

·         I learned to be okay with me. Go easy on myself and love myself for who I am, realizing that I am still a work in progress and asking God to help me in areas I need to improve

·         Know my Bible inside and out. There are a lot of half-truths out there and I need to differentiate between the real truth and the half-truth

·         Sometimes I only have two choices: To Laugh or to Cry. Choose laughter much more often than crying but when having to cry, that is okay too. It is very healing to the soul. Even Jesus wept.

·         How to do basic home repairs

·         Do not apologize for who I am or what I like/don’t like. Be confident and face the world like a lion, not a kitten

·         Everything that is meant to work out will work out, even if all the odds are stacked against it.

·         How to praise God every single day, even when things are falling apart. This is what is called a “sacrifice of praise” which is very powerful and leads to breakthroughs!

Whenever you have gone through a difficult season of your own, make a list of all you learned through it and thank God for the treasure of finding the gems in the middle of the mess of that season. It really gives you a new perspective! Then be thankful that you are a better person now than you were before that season because of what you too have learned!