Loose lips sink relation-ships

The tongue is a small but powerful muscle. The Bible compares the tongue to a small rudder that turns a huge ship in one direction or the other (James 3:4) and to a spark that can start a forest fire (James 3:5). Psychologists say that for every one negative statement or word, a human being needs to hear ten positive statements or words to experience an “optimal range of human functioning.” How true that is. I have noticed that six people can say something great to or about me but the one person that comes along right afterwards and says something really hurtful is the one I think about longer and somehow, in my itty bitty mind it seems to almost overshadow or somehow discount the six positive things. I suppose that could have come from the very negative home environment I grew up in, but I have heard a lot of people express the same idea that this is true in their lives as well.

One word can start a family feud, cause nations to rise up in war, homes to fall apart and friends to cease being friends. James 3:7-8 states that all kinds of creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by man but no man can tame the tongue. Wow. Powerful words indeed. When we use words to tear others down instead of build them up, our tongue is like hot lava on somebody’s very soul…uncontrolled, fierce and very damaging in some cases.

This very topic has been heavy on my heart all week. In these days, which I believe to be the last days, it is actually very refreshing and almost surprising to come across someone who consistently speaks life into people and maintains a positive, loving attitude despite the circumstances around them. It truly touches my heart to hear a great, positive story on the news or in the paper where somebody sacrificed something to do something good for someone else or blessed someone in a big way. I know there are a lot of people who do things like this, it is just not heard about very often. How different would our world be if more positive things were reported by the media instead of so much negative?

When I was 29, God did a major work in my life when he sanctified me. He almost instantly turned me into a very positive, half-glass full, finding the silver lining in most situations kind of girl! That was truly a gift from him that I still cherish to this day! I have faced many difficult valleys since then, but have still managed to be able to find something small, even if trite, good while still in the valleys and especially on the other side of them. I am one of those Murphy’s Laws “disasters;” if something can go wrong, even if there is a 60% chance it won’t, it almost always does! It is just the way things roll in my life. However, I have still chosen to remain positive and try to see the one thing through each of those situations as a blessing or a positive. Or, if someone shows me something they did and it looks pretty much like a disaster, I will pick out the one positive thing about it and say something positive about it. There is almost always something good that can be said about just about anything! (Obviously, there are exceptions, of course).

I love people and I love to watch their faces light up when something little I say to them brightens their day! This past year, I have made it my goal for all of 2014 and on into the future to speak life to as many people as I can each day and to show kindness to someone I don’t even know (and especially to those I do know!) every single day! I am definitely not talking about flattering anyone or falsely building someone up just to say something, but I mean a genuine compliment that comes from my heart or observing something and speaking in accordance to that situation to encourage someone from my heart. I fully believe that this is what God calls us to do as Christians. It is said that “they will know we are Christians by our love.” It can take a five-minute good, positive conversation with someone to change the direction of their entire life! The same can be said of the opposite type of conversation. Everyone has either been fighting a battle, are in the middle of fighting one or soon going to fight a battle. Therefore, it is very fitting for us to speak life into others, especially considering how many negative, abusive people there are out there.  

Because I praise God with my tongue, I do not want to be one who also tears down men with the same tongue, who have been made in His likeness, as James 3:9-10 says. I want my words of praise to be pure before my Lord in heaven and to be pleasing to Him in the way I speak to others. Sometimes it is very hard to do, especially with difficult people in our lives or those who are just plain negative and mean tempered. There are times where I have to pray, “Lord, hold my tongue! Put your hand over my mouth!” and with His help, I am able to do so.

God will bless those who bless others with their mouth and actions! Be blessed today! Remember that we are salt and light to this dark world! J