A Future & A Hope

Two year ago (2013), when I went through one of the hardest valleys of my life, God very clearly gave me a promise. Although this verse is the favorite of many people I know, I never particularly favored it above any other verse and truthfully with all I have been through, found this verse hard to relate to. But, I have noticed over the years that when God speaks, whether it be to ask us to do something or when he is giving us a promise, it usually does not make sense, and this time was no exception. In Chapter 13, “The Battle Begins,” I described a battle I faced of epic proportions in all of my 45 years here on earth. Though I did not hit every detail, I outlined the major points as I faced major difficulties physically, emotionally and financially and that year changed me in several ways, especially in my relationship with people. I was actually about ready to sell all my belongings, pack up a few basics and move to a deserted island, truthfully. I needed people the most that year, but I never felt more alone and rejected than in that year.

The promise God gave me in the throes of that particular year is found in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV) I cannot tell you how many times the Lord put that verse before me; there was no escaping it! I saw it posted in more places in a year’s time than I have seen it in the other 40+ years of my life! It was very clear to me that God was trying to speak to me through it and at first, I could not, would not believe it was for me because of how much abuse, devastation, loss, illness, etc. etc. I have been through. How could hope or a (good) future come out of all that?! It was actually irritating at first, but then gradually, it almost became funny because God went to great lengths to be sure I saw and heard that verse so many times that it was forever burned in my memory. (This is detailed more in Chapters 12 & 13 in “Struck Down, But Not Destroyed”).

So then I began a journey to find out the real meaning of the verse in its original language and to read the different versions of this verse (NIV, KJV, NKJV, MSG…) I even asked some of my theology friends their take on the verse and its exact meaning because Number 1, I was sure God was giving me this as a promise, Number 2, I knew that nothing in my life came even close to matching up and Number 3, I knew that I was confused because in this case, A did NOT = B. Usually whenever I have heard this verse explained, it has to do with prosperity and success coming our way, that God wanted me to prosper in every area of my life including financially. In some cases I believe that is true, but not in everyone’s case, or there would be no poor or struggling Christians and Jesus said there would always be the poor among us. I knew that this was not even a distinct possibility in my case unless a mighty miracle of God happened (having been a struggling single mom for the past ten years), so that is why I began to dig deeper. “Surely there is more than meets the eye here,” I thought.

I was right. After digging a little deeper, the word “prosperity” in some versions actually refers to “peace.” I had a light bulb moment when I realized this verse was more about peace than (financial, material) prosperity. Ok…now we are getting somewhere, I thought. Let me be VERY clear here: I am not knocking any specific version of the Bible, because God has spoken to me the MOST personally out of my NIV Bible. However, in this case, the NKJV version reads, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Plans vs thoughts, ‘I have for you’ vs ‘I think toward you’, prosper/not harm vs peace/not of evil. This made much more sense to me and at least seemed more attainable, though I do not doubt that God could do a huge miracle and allow me to prosper, though it was not likely in my case.

When I was at my lowest (in 2013), God began giving me this promise, later telling me that although everything seems about as bleak as it gets, I am here and things will get better, I promise. You have peace with me and will have peace with everyone around you. With me, you have a future, no matter how difficult the past has been and how difficult it is now and you have hope, because I am on your side and I am not done with your life yet. Wait until you see the final results of all you have been through!

The exciting thing is that I am now beginning to see this come to pass in my life. I have a deep-rooted sense of peace about my future that I never had before, because God specifically promised me my future would be a good one (on earth or not until heaven, I am not sure). I am still nervous about my future (on this earth) in some ways and I will never understand why I have had to go through more in the past ten years than most people have to go through their entire life, but I do know this; that God has good plans for my future because his thoughts are of peace over my life. No matter how low you have been or what you have been through, no matter what you have been a victim of and no matter how bleak your future seems, God still has good plans for you. Don’t give up…your best days may be closer than you think.