Saturday, July 11, 2015

A Father's Love

Even though my father lived with us, he was absent emotionally and physically. He was a workaholic and very critical of me when he was around. Sometimes I wonder which is worse, having a father in the home who feels nothing for you and sees you only as a workhand, or a physically absent father. When I was a struggling teenager, I still remember coming across Psalm 27:10 because it literally jumped off the page at me and was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. It reads, “Though my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” It spoke volumes to me, because I struggled with feelings of rejection, worthlessness and feeling unlovable. I know that children who grow up without a father also have the same feelings, but there is great beauty when they realize they have a heavenly father who loves them, will not forsake them and who is “the father to the fatherless.”

To those who have had either experience with your father, I pray that you have forgiven them and then realized that you have a heavenly father who truly loves you and will take care of you better than any earthly father could! To those of you who grew up with a good or a great day, you have been truly blessed and I pray you have not taken them for granted!

Sometimes it still hurts a little seeing other people who have a close, loving relationship with their dads although I was happy for them, of course. I just felt like I really missed out on something. For different reasons, my boys feel that they have also missed out on something, as they do not have their father (or grandfather) actively in their life on a regular basis (by their choice). My heart hurts for them and I know that they too know the pain when seeing other kids whose dads still live at home and are very involved with their kids. I long for them to know how very much they are loved, even if they do not feel it because of this lack of close, caring relationship that they have always desired with their father too. I have learned through my years of being a single mom that a mother cannot take the place of a father figure. God created mothers and fathers for very different role, and both are equally important in the life of a child.

Watching what my boys have faced through their teenage years without their dad, however, I am now very touched when I see friends of mine being a wonderful father to their children. I often wonder if those fathers (my friends) know what an amazing impact they are making on their children’s lives! Their children will not have to feel the pain of having an absent or unkind dad. They will not have to struggle with feelings of rejection, hurt or feelings of being unlovable. They will also not have to doubt God’s love for them as their heavenly Father. For this, I am thankful and very happy for their children. If you are a parent, never underestimate the power you have in your child’s life! You can make them or break them, so be the best parent you can to your child(ren) and make sure to take every opportunity to tell them and show them how much you love and care about them!

One dear sweet family (whom I love dearly) that I have had the privilege of having in my life for the past few years has a son who is autistic. He is sometimes bullied and none of the other kids want to sit next to him. Although I am not sure how much their son realizes those things, his parents sure do and they are heartbroken! I cannot even imagine how they must feel, knowing that their son is mistreated just for his presence and because he is vastly “different” from the other kids. He really does not say anything to anybody or even look at them (so obviously he does not start trouble with anyone but keeps to himself) but sometimes I am able to get him to say a few words to me (and it makes my day!) I think he needs to know that there are people who do love him and accept him the way he is!

Whenever this sweet boy’s parents (my friends) have talked about what he goes through with other kids, my heart breaks for all of them, especially to see his father break down and cry when he thinks about it. His son can give very little love back to him, but he continues to love him with all he has regardless. That right there is a father who truly, genuinely loves his children! What an amazing example in today’s world, where it is almost the norm that fathers are not in their children’s lives for whatever reason or are not really available to them emotionally, even if they do live in the same house. Just because fathers aren’t naturally the loving, nurturing type like mothers are does not mean there is an excuse to be “absent.”

My friend’s son went to a kids camp at church recently and guess who went with him…my friend (his father). His son wanted to participate in the activities but was afraid to do so alone as the other kids did not interact with him at all and so my friend got on the ground and army crawled through the mud with his son right next to his side until they reached the finish line together! Out of all the people there, only one parent came up to my friend afterwards and commented how very touched she was by the love she saw between him and his son that she had never, ever seen before in any father-son relationship and how special it was to see that. She was in tears as she told my friend this, in my presence. Then, we were all in tears. You see, she did not have her father in her life at all growing up and this display of a beautiful father-son moment forever touched her. It touched my life also, because I too did not have a father who was emotionally there for me at all. How I wished I had witnessed that tender moment firsthand! So, even though nobody else there (except this one lady) noticed or acknowledged this beautiful display of unconditional love for a son, it touched two lives very much…mine and hers. I also think it encouraged this father to keep on doing what he is already doing so beautifully, shining like Jesus in the life of his son.

Isn’t that how God is to us? Even though we are weak, frail and sometimes don’t even notice he is there, he is still right there beside us when nobody else is…to army crawl through the mud of life with us. That is amazing fatherly love.

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