Sunday, July 26, 2015

When Love Doesn't Make Sense

I Corinthians 13:13 says, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Many of us have read this verse many times and even know it by heart. However, do we realize just how strong of a statement this really is? Love is greater than faith or hope, and mentioned in the Bible (NIV) a whopping 686 times!

The word “faith” appears in the Bible (NIV) an impressive 458 times. Two of the verses that emphasize the importance of faith are Hebrews 11:6, which says that “And without faith it is impossible to please God” and Ephesians 2:8, which says, “…For by grace you have been saved through faith…” So, without having faith, we cannot please God and we have been saved by our faith (through grace).

The word “hope” appears in the Bible (NIV) 174 times. My favorite verse about hope is Proverbs 13:12 because I can really identify with it. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” How many of you, like me, have really looked forward to something important only to have it taken away at the last minute? Do you remember how it felt when your heart sank? I do! In those times when the hope is sucked out of you, it feels as if you have almost lost the will to keep trying anymore. Thankfully, however, we also know the feeling of looking forward to something and having it come to pass, which fills us with “life.”

Despite the undeniable importance of faith and hope, love still trumps in importance. But how do we put this love into practice? It’s in high demand all over the world…everybody wants it and needs it, some will do absolutely anything to get it and some can’t get enough of it. Others are literally “love-starved” and will never believe they are loved as they been told by someone important, “You are unlovable” or “You don’t matter.” Those words and feelings never leave the heart or mind no matter how long ago they were said.

Is it enough to merely tell someone, “I love you?” Is that what Jesus meant when he said to love others? Or does it go deeper than that? I believe it’s important in word AND in the way you treat someone, even when they are undeserving of love at that moment. It is a commitment, a discipline and a “no matter what” attitude. It is hard business to love people sometimes, and I can understand why some people love their animals more than other people at times, but that certainly does NOT disqualify us from having to love others.

We too do not deserve God’s love, but He loved us so much He sent his only son to die for us so that we could have a relationship with Him and spend eternity in heaven with Him someday. The amazing thing is that God knows every single detail about us, everything from the bad, ugly thoughts we have had to the unlovely things we have done and said to others, and knows our every weakness and battle, yet loves us still. He doesn’t say, “When you clean up your act and are lovable, I will love you.” If He did that, I know I would be in trouble and I think everybody else would be too!

People see right through you much better than you think they can. When you tell someone “I love you,” do you back it up or negate those words by the way you treat them? If that person were stranded at 3:00 in the morning, would you put action to your words, “I love you?” Love is easily sensed and words alone are shallow without the true, deep meaningful acts to back up those words. So it is really not enough to hug someone and say that you love them without your heart being in it. Talk is cheap; action is priceless. God can also see through meaningless words; He is not fooled, even if you do fool others.

The importance of loving when I least felt like it hit me like a ton of bricks a few years ago when my youngest son and I were going through a very, very tough spot in our relationship. You know, where it feels like aliens came and took your precious, beloved angel of a child and replaced him or her with a demon child and you are at your wits end! I had reached the straw that broke the camel’s back and pleaded with God for some answers on what to do. I was seriously ready to put this boy on the curb or hang him up by his toenails. You who have children know what I mean because we have all been there at least once! Anyway, as I was praying about how I should “discipline” (or better yet, punish) this out-of-control child that aliens left behind (who was normally my easier child), I was already thinking of a laundry list of possibilities….just to give God a few “ideas” (as if he needed any!)

As he has done many, many times before, God blew my socks off with his response. He said very clearly, “just love him.” That was the last thing I felt like doing at this particular moment!! After gasping for air (literally), I thought in my mind, “before or after hanging him up by his toenails?”

Wow. That was the last thing I expected God to say. I thought he would have the perfect disciplinary tool that would magically make this child behave like the sweet angel he normally was. Then I would thank God for the amazing insight after I tried it because everything would be back to business as usual again.

This experience made me realize that even though we truly love someone, we must actively do so in the midst of their worst. For example, when that particular friend is going through another crisis (the 7th one this year), we must still love her as if she were still the apple of our eye. As hard as it is sometimes, we must be there in the name of love to anyone who needs it, no matter how often they need it, and not only to those who deserve it.

As hard as it was, I walked into my son’s bedroom when I got my bearings, gave him a hug and told him I still loved him. It didn’t change anything immediately, but I continued to go out of my way to show him I still loved him, in spite of him at that moment.

God does the same for us. How can we do any less for anyone else who needs it? Imagine the change in this world if every person knew without a doubt that they were loved!

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