Universal Language

My dear friend Emma was born in Nicaragua, but has lived here in the United States for many years. Her mother comes and visits from her native Nicaragua during the summer and I had the amazing pleasure of meeting her for the first time recently. She doesn’t speak or understand a lick of English, but I understand most of what she says (I studied Spanish for 8 years way back in the day and spent a summer in Mexico while in college). Because it has been several years since I was fluent in Spanish, and I have not had many opportunities to practice it in several years, my speaking is rusty but I can still (amazingly) understand about 85-90% of what is said to me in Spanish.

Emma’s mother is all of maybe 5’ tall, sweet as can be, and her name, when translated into English, is Snow White. Yes, really! (Blanca Nieve is her given name). She always smiles and her sweetness radiates around her wherever she goes. She is very quiet and reserved, but lights up the room with her love for others. She gave birth to seven children (my friend Emma jokes that she had seven “dwarves”), but she lost a daughter (only 42 years old) to cancer, who would have been my age now.  Blanca has not let that tragic event sour her, but only broaden her love for others.

Because of the very special friendship that Emma and I have, she “adopted” me as her sister. She really misses her only sister who passed (the rest of her siblings are brothers). We have been with each other for three years through good and bad and laughed together (a LOT) and cried together. It literally feels like we ARE sisters! Even her kids call me “aunt.” Because of this, when I met her mother for the first time, she took both her mother and me by the hand and said, “This is now your mama too. Mama, this is your daughter.” Although her mother had not met me in person until this point, she completely and without reservation welcomed me as part of the family. Now, every time I see her, she gives me a big bear hug and every time I leave her, she gives me another big bear hug, the kind that is unmistakably warm and genuine, as if she has known me for many years.

Although this quiet little lady doesn’t say much, she sure smiles a lot. I could speak English to her until the cows come home and even though she would not understand a word I say, she would look at me and smile as if she were hanging on every word. I try my best to speak to her in what I am sure sounds like broken Spanish, but you would think I just gave her a luxurious gift by the way she responds to my efforts.

This got me to thinking about what love really looks like. Although words are important in showing love, actions are far more important. Love in action can span generations and even overcome language and cultural barriers. It is a matter of the heart. Do we choose to have a big heart for others, even those who are different from us? Or are we so busy with our own rat race in life that we don’t even take the time to share a piece of our heart with others? It seems like today in our world, love is only given if it is convenient, easy and towards someone close to us or to those who are almost our clones (only if they are middle class, stay-at-home moms, homeschoolers, go to our church, work in the same job, etc. etc.) Nonsense!

Sometimes we don’t even bother because we believe the lie that if something is not done big and over- the-top or if it goes unnoticed that it is not important and therefore, not worth our time. I too used to think that. However, it is just an attitude of the heart, willing to really be there for someone (presence) or to lend them a hand, pick up something they dropped in passing, or a genuine smile that starts the domino effect going. Even if you don’t know a whole lot about someone and are not able to communicate with them fluently, it is possible to make them feel loved.

Look at Mother Theresa, for example. I am sure that some of the people she helped throughout her life did not speak her language. I am also sure that she did not know much if anything about many of the people she reached out to in love. However, she is well known for her service in love and kindness to others. How she went about this did not take a lots and lots of money. It was far from glamorous. In fact, I am sure she was downright miserable many times. But she didn’t complain or try to escape. She remained. Why? Because of the love and compassion that flowed from her heart to the misfortunate. Most of us are more than capable of doing the same thing. Maybe not quite to the same level Mother Theresa did, but we can still make a difference.

The language of love and compassion is multi-lingual.  No matter what language we speak or what culture we are from, we all understand a smile, a wave, a small friendly gesture and a hug. We may have different words for these things, but all of humanity can understand these things, receive these things and give these things. Not a single word has to be said and no translation is necessary. We all know what it is to feel hurt and we all need love and compassion.

Even Snow White.