Silver Linings

Seeing the good in things, the “silver lining” so to speak, does not come naturally. It seems like I have had to constantly train my children from the time they were little to see the good in things. I say things like, “Instead of saying in a demanding tone, ‘Why did you pick us up so late?!’ how about saying instead, “Thank you for picking us up. I know you had to work late today.” Or, “Instead of complaining about how we never seem to have enough money, look at what we do have and be thankful, because many more people in the world are much worse off than we are.” How about the clincher… “Why is there NEVER anything to eat?” (After I just brought home $100 worth of groceries) which prompts me to say “How about, thank you for getting the groceries, coming up with a menu plan and having food on the table every morning and night and school lunches ready every day.”

It never ceases to amaze me how so many people complain about what they DON’T have instead of being thankful for what they DO have! Don’t get me wrong, that was a cycle I had to break myself years ago. I too never seemed to have “enough” things (though I had an overabundance). I too was sick and tired of always having the “garbage” of life dumped on me when everyone else seemed to have it so much better. I was also guilty of looking past my blessings and instead focusing on what I did not have or what went wrong instead of what went right. So what changed?

First, (twenty years ago) the good Lord moved us to the middle of nowhere in Alaska for three years. The biggest thing I learned while I lived there was that I did not need things to be happy and that I already had all I needed. I learned to put more focus on people instead of things. Instead of getting upset or embarrassed, I learned that it was not the end of the world if three other women showed up at a dinner party in the same formal dress I wore. It actually became a joke after a while. God broke my chains of materialism way back then, which prepared me well for the life of a single mom, which I became seven years after we moved away from Alaska.

Next, I have learned to depend on God for every single need through the years I have spent as a single mom. I had to work hard and pray for every single thing I acquired (needs and wants). Because I only had a budget for my basic needs and just a little extra at times, I have learned to make do with what I already have, and I believe my children will be better off someday because of this. Even though I have fewer things than I have ever had throughout the course of my life, I have NEVER been happier. God has shown me what is truly important and to be thankful for everything I have, because all of it is a gift from him.

Third, I have been through some very deep, dark valleys throughout my life, including surviving abuse, having an unfaithful spouse, suicide attempts, depression, bullying, major health problems, losing a job (twice), chronic pain, divorce, almost losing my house and rejection. These have all been “blessings in disguise.” I say that because without these things, I never would have learned to appreciate each and every moment as I do today. I look at things with joy that most people walk right on by and ignore. I can’t help but smile because I appreciate every little bit of God’s creation. Because I have been “to hell and back” with all of my very dark, lonely moments, I find the little things such as a tiny flower a big deal that most people would never notice. I smile at the tree that I often drive by that is heart-shaped. When a blue-tailed skink makes its way in my house, I am amazed at the beauty of the bright blue tail it beholds.

Philippians 4:8 says, “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” It took a few years and several difficult circumstances, but God changed me into a person that could see a silver lining in almost any difficult situation.

I was brought up in a very negative home environment and it came naturally to me to see the glass as “half-empty” instead of “half-full.” Thankfully, nothing is too hard for God and he did a 180 in my life by changing me to the point of where I can look at a difficult situation in my life and the first thing I try to do now is see the positive, no matter how small, in that situation.

For example, for the past 3+ years I have been in a 30-hour-a-week job. It has been difficult financially and very frustrating because for most of these 3+ years, I have been searching high and low for another job to supplement my income. There have been several times where I was so discouraged that I began to despise the fact I was in this part-time job that would lead nowhere with no chance for a better income. However, just as quickly I have seen all of the blessings this job has given me...I have some amazing co-workers who give each person their own birthday party to make them feel special. I have a boss who was very understanding and patient as I went through the hardest year of my life soon after starting this job and I know without a doubt he prayed for me. We are able to joke with each other and have a good time in this somewhat laid-back environment. No, it does not pay well and the benefits are not great, but I am blessed that I have a job to go to every day that I look forward to.

Because of all I have been through, every single day I thank God for the silver linings that he has given me even in the difficulties and those that he has given me the ability to see. I intend to see a lot more of those, even in the stormy days ahead…and that makes me smile with gratitude. J