Love Letter to Abba

 

Dear Abba Father (daddy):

Words cannot describe adequately how incredibly thankful I am that you are always there for me! You are the best thing that has ever happened to me!

When I grew up alone and afraid in my own home, you told me that even though my mother and father forsook me, you would receive me. Through all of that, you blessed me with the most amazing grandparents imaginable. Your love shone through them every time I saw them!

When I was bullied every day at school, you gave me great inner strength to withstand it so that those words would not destroy me. When I could think of nothing except how much I wanted to die as a teenager, you showed me through a bad car accident that I survived that you still had a purpose for my life!

Life was excruciating and unbearable some days, and even though those were supposed to love me did not do so but instead abused me, you were my strong tower, tall and sure! I looked forward to meeting with you in church every Sunday when my Sunday school teachers showed me the love I so desperately needed and wanted and taught me that joy was possible with you.

Through my childhood dog, you showed me what unconditional love and acceptance looked like so I would not be too naïve to recognize those things when they came across my path later on in life. I had something to pour my heart out to when nobody else would listen and something that cared enough to dry my tears as they fell!

You gave me the best years of my life throughout college and brought along genuine, life-long friends who showed me that I was much better and worth something far greater than I had been led to believe my first 18 years of life. I learned that life was not all rules and that everything I did was not bad or wrong, but that I just saw things and did things differently and that was okay!

When I took a mission trip while in college, you protected me on the subway when a stranger grabbed ahold of me and would not let go. You gave me the words to yell out and the ability to get out of a potentially dangerous situation so far away from home. Though I was thousands of miles from home in a strange land, you were there with me just as much as you were with me back home!

When I married the love of my life and I finally felt deeply and fully loved for the first time for who I was, you walked down the aisle with me, knowing that this marriage would eventually fail and break my heart. Before the marriage ended, you told me I needed to forgive my husband for everything and assured me that it would set me free and that everything would still be okay (and it was)!

Right after my divorce, I never felt more alone in a new city with no job, very few friends and no savings. Yet, you brought me amazing Christian neighbors to get me through. When I went to a ladies retreat at church, you reached down out of heaven and gave me a hug that I could literally feel when my heart was breaking from loneliness and broken dreams, when many people treated me like I was wearing a Scarlet letter. Do you know how much that meant to me when I looked up while we were praying at the retreat because I felt arms of love squeezing me (hugging me) from behind but nobody was there? I knew right then it was you, Abba. In all the years I was married, I never felt that much warmth and reassuring love as I did at that moment!

Through every moment as a single mom, you have provided for me and the boys countless times in miraculous ways! It was you who knew I needed a dryer when mine caught on fire and who brought someone across my path who asked if I happened to need a dryer! When times were very lean in those early days, you provided our every basic need of food, clothing and shelter and we never did without. Out of billions of people on this earth, you noticed a newly single mom who cried herself to sleep, feeling the sting of rejection from many who regarded me as a Scarlet letter wearing sinner for getting divorced, and seeing little hope that things would ever be whole again.

Even before I became a single mom, you spoke a promise to me as clearly as if you had literally spoken to me in that room (audibly) saying, “Everything is going to be okay. I will be with you.” To this day, when things are very difficult, I am reminded of those words you spoke to me all those years ago and great peace washes over me once again! As is true to your character, you have faithfully kept that promise and you have been with me and the boys, even through some scary situations that I doubted would turn out okay (but they did)!

When I faced huge physical obstacles and went through a period where walking was getting harder and harder to do and I was afraid I may lose the ability to walk, you touched and healed my legs miraculously and I thank you! You know I have so many responsibilities and that I needed this healing desperately!

Abba, you are my world! You are the one who brings me peace when everything seems to be falling apart, healing when my body feels like it is giving out, strength to overlook offenses and the ability to forgive so I can live freely, joy when much difficulty abounds, protection in dangerous situations, provision of my basic needs as the needs arise, strength to fight the heavy battle that leaves me weary and the hope to hold on and so much more! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

I love you always and forever!!!

Love, Your Broken Warrior