How Is Your Love Gauge?

The word “love” is thrown around so carelessly without even a thought. On a daily basis, you hear about how people “love” things like ice cream, this or that politician, their dog or cat, the beach, their car or job, pizza, etc. Obviously, that is a superficial kind of love and there are different types of love. However, I often hear (and it is disheartening) the words “I love you” thrown around by people to each other half-heartedly. Maybe what they really mean is that they love the idea of a particular person or what that person represents. Maybe they even love the way that person carries him/herself or how good that person makes them feel.

It is never a good idea to tell someone you love them, whether a friend, acquaintance, longtime friend or even family member, if you truly do not love them from the bottom of your heart. People have a way of figuring out whether you are being truthful when you say you love them or if you are just saying it. My friend, actions speak much louder than words. I have known people through the years at church who tell me almost every time they see me, “I love you, girl!” but then when it comes time to plan something together, they are far too busy to squeeze me in their schedule. Accompanying the above words, they add “We will have to get together soon,” to which I reply, “You have my number. Call me. I am flexible and will work on your schedule” to no avail. I know other people have told me they have the same thing happen to them too. I believe that part of the problem is that our culture is so over-worked, over-whelmed and over-busy that there isn’t time left over for friends. But then again, if you are that busy, you most likely need to re-prioritize.

One of the main underlying and overlying themes of the Bible is “loving God and loving others.” However, if we are too busy for even our friends, are we really loving them? Do we really care what is truly going on behind closed doors in their lives? I don’t think God had a superficial kind of “love” in mind when he was referring to loving him and others. God forbid a friend of yours that truly means something to you is suffering in silence, unable to share their heart with you because you are too busy. We all get busy, but our top priority needs to be the Lord and others. As the common saying goes, you have JOY when you put “Jesus first, Others second, Yourself third.”

We need to water those beautiful, priceless friendships that God gives us. They are treasures and gifts from him to help us enjoy life.

When you tell your friend “I love you,” is it just the feeling you love when you are around them or think of them from afar or do you really love them as a complete person and as a dear friend that you treasure? If you “love” your car, dog, cat, job, purse, etc. more than you “love” your friends, you probably do not really love your friend the way that Christ commands us to love others.

There is nothing worse than getting your hopes up when you hear someone say “I love you! You are an awesome person! I am so glad we are friends!” but then they never make a single effort to be in touch or do anything with you. The sting of rejection is felt as a result, especially to a person who maybe grew up in a home without anyone ever saying “I love you” or even showing it to each other. Maybe intensions were good, but good intentions are not good enough when it comes to loving others. Love is serious business and commanded over and over in scripture.

If we have a hard time genuinely showing our friends and family we truly love them, how are we ever going to love the sinner who needs Jesus? You may be the only one who ever shows them any love, and what an amazing opportunity to show them the love of Jesus! We need to start genuinely loving in our own circle before we can hope to effectively love others outside of our circle.

People know very quickly when you greet them with a hug whether or not it is genuine and whether you have heart behind the words “I love you.” There is a huge difference between the two scenarios.

Is your love meter for the Lord and for others overflowing or just barely lit up? If there was a measurement in the love you showed to others each day, how would your meter read? Close to empty or full? There will be days where it varies and some days will be lower than others, but why not make it a priority to keep your love meter full? Most importantly, ask God to help you develop more love for others, not only people you just meet but also for friends and family members. Ask him to help you love them more in a way that they need to be loved and that he would help you love them and see them the way he sees and loves them. Some people are just downright difficult to love, but that does not mean we are exempt from loving them! That is when we need God’s help and grace the most, to be able to extend that love even to them.

Maybe you have never felt loved yourself, but don’t let that be an excuse to not love others. An amazing thing happens when you are kind to others and show them love, no matter how small. Somehow, you begin to feel some of that love back, just knowing you did something to help someone else feel loved. It may not be a sincere, genuine first try, but it can develop quickly into that.

I grew up in a very unloving home. I remember when people used to hug me as a child, I did not even know what to do, so I just stood rigid with my arms down to my side. Was I supposed to hug them back? Was I supposed to thank them? Smile? It took a while to learn, but eventually I learned to reciprocate. Then I learned that I really liked that hugging business, so I started hugging people. Maybe even a little too much. I gradually learned to tone it down a bit and save it for appropriate occasions as not everyone likes that. However, sometimes all someone needs is a genuine hug, smile and look in the eye that says “you matter.” Then, watch your love meter go up! J