Remove the Plank!

Have you noticed that even toddlers know when someone wrongs them? It is human nature to notice when someone else “steals our toy” and then we throw a tantrum, but when we want something we have no problems grabbing a toy from the other kid. Because selfishness is human nature, it comes far easier to overlook when we do something wrong but notice immediately when someone else does something wrong.

If we are not careful, this attitude can carry over into adulthood. This is characterized by pointing out everyone else’s flaws yet failing to recognize our own. I have noticed over time that the ones who are so busy pointing out how everyone around them is prideful, for example, are the ones who think the world revolves around THEM and they are just angry because someone else is getting recognition for something, which takes the spotlight off of THEM.

Matthew 7:5 states, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” There are few things worse than when someone close to you points out with great magnitude how (they thought you did something) wrong but then cannot admit when they are wrong.

Whenever somebody says or does something out of line, it is sometimes far more effective to pray for them instead of obsessing over the speck in their eye. For one thing, intensions can be mistaken and what we perceive is far different than the intensions they had. It is also possible that maybe there is some jealousy at play on our part, so we just need to keep quiet. There are other times, however, when it is in everyone’s best interest to point out something that was said or done wrong and should be made right.

Soon after I got divorced, a co-worker told me very firmly and with an attitude of self-righteousness, “You sinned because you got divorced!” She did not know the whole story or the fact that an unfaithful, abusive spouse who no longer wanted me but anyone else younger and prettier was the main reason behind the divorce. She jumped to conclusions. Several years later, we had come across each other’s path again and started catching up with each other’s lives when she brought up the fact that her husband had just about crossed that line of unfaithfulness and how she said to him, “Oh, no you don’t! I am out of here if you go there!” Hmmm…I found it ironic that when she was placed in a similar situation, she was more than ready to give her husband the boot, even though a few years earlier she had faulted me for getting out of a marriage where that line had already been crossed!

I am very careful whenever I pray for someone else’s issue (whether it be with pride, not picking up the slack at work, etc.) because I too have areas that need improvement. When I do pray for the Holy Spirit’s conviction over someone, I am also deliberate about asking for the Holy Spirit to convict me when I do something I should not do too or if I were ever do the same thing, because not a single one of us is immune from doing something that we hate to see other people do. We are just as guilty although our wrongdoings are just in different areas. This was not something that came easily or automatic but it was something I had to learn how to do deliberately and then it became second-nature.

Just remember, when we are pointing one finger at someone else, four fingers are pointing back at ourselves. J

The Least of These

Truly serving the Lord is not glamorous, clean, comfortable or easy business. We must learn to step out of our squeaky clean parameters and physically go to the hurting where they are at. Although it is true that there are hurting people everywhere including churches and it is very important to help and comfort them as well, we also need to help and comfort those who are in the hospital, the homeless wandering the streets and the prisoner. Of course, we need to use common sense and not put ourselves in imminent danger, but there are a vast number of people out there in these three predicaments just wishing someone would notice. If only the friends of some of these people had not left them when in these situations, life would be more tolerable. If only more people would turn to the hurting instead of turning away when they needed someone the most…

I never remember one verse in scripture where Jesus was living in luxury, stayed out of the seedy parts of town and purposely avoided those in dire need. We often see him hanging out with and ministering to the sinners, the unclean and others who were considered the “least of these.” He walked for days on end and consequently most likely had dirty feet, uncombed hair and wore plain clothes. The Bible describes Him as ordinary-looking and having no beauty or majesty to attract us to him. (Isaiah 53:2b) He went in, rolled up his sleeves and got dirty with “the least of these.” Shouldn’t we be doing the same? After all, we are now His hands and feet to a hurting world. If we don’t show love to those in the most need around us, they may die in their suffering never seeing the hands and feet of Jesus reaching out to show them that someone cares.

Seven years ago, I started working with a dear lady with whom I ended up working with for four years and we became good friends. Right before I met her, her only son had been arrested and had to serve 7-8 years. I saw a picture of him on her desk and asked about him. He looked a little familiar to me and so I asked about him. When I asked further questions, thinking I had surely met him before, she started to cry, saying that he was in jail and would be there for a long time. It broke my heart to see a broken mother who missed her son. I had two choices right then and there. I could have brushed it off and said, “Oh well, he messed up and has to live with the consequences now,” or I could have supported my new friend, a fellow mother in a state that I could not even imagine being in nor would I want to be. I will confess that this was the first time I had ever seen what the family of an incarcerated person goes through and my eyes were opened. We don’t usually get to see the whole picture.

Over the course of months, she and I talked about the type of child he was growing up and the things she loved about him. She never once made excuses for him or said he was innocent, ever. She knew he had done something wrong and was now facing the consequences. She also told me that all of his friends but one cut him out of their lives because of this, so I offered to write him. I almost felt like I knew him from the many conversations we had about him. I was moved by compassion to act and do something for someone who was abandoned by his friends. I have been there too. Not incarcerated, but when I have needed people the most, many of my “friends” left me high and dry.

I wanted him to know that at least ONE person outside of his family noticed and was going to show him God’s love as he was facing what would be some very difficult years ahead. I also wanted him to know that God would never leave him or forsake him, even after making the worst decision in his life, which got him there. I wrote him regularly, sharing encouraging scriptures, trying to lift his spirits and telling him about my life, what I have been through, how I turned to God every time and how He faithfully saw me through.

 Hebrews 13:3 says, “Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” Is this glamorous? No. Is it worth it? Yes. When we remember those who are suffering, even if it is by their own fault, we are blessed and we are being obedient to what God’s word says about how we are to treat “the least of these.”

Some of the best memories I have are of being there for someone who needed to know they were still important, a jewel in the eyes of God. From the young lady I prayed with who had just totaled her car in front of my house and was alone, afraid and begging me to hold her and pray with her to the homeless couple I was able to encourage through an outreach by really listening to their hearts, sharing words of life with them, hugging them and serving them lunch to the young man in prison who just needed to know someone cares about him too, I have learned that I would rather be doing nothing else than rolling up my sleeves and going in where most people turn away. 

Are you ready to roll up your sleeves, get dirty and minister to the down and out, like Jesus did? Or, will you continue to look the other way and stay in your comfort zone and play it safe? Remember, whatever we do to the least of these we do for HIM.

Expect the Unexpected!

I have found it very interesting that whenever I am praying about a big need to be filled, I tend to ask God to provide that need and then in excitement and anticipation, I mull over all the different possibilities of how God could intervene so that this particular need would be met. It is actually fun coming up with all the possible scenarios in this itty bitty finite mind of mine. I can just imagine that the Lord is thoroughly entertained by these very limited scenarios going through my mind with a smile on his face, shaking his head as if to say, “You are so far off.” The funniest thing of all is that every single time, he answers the prayer in a totally different way than I ever expected!

I used to think I was the only one who did this until I read in John 5 about the invalid who had laid by the pool of “healing water” which was believed (in their culture) to heal the first diseased person who got into the water after the angel stirred up the pool. This particular man had been in this terrible state for 38 years and every time he tried to get into the water first, someone else always beat him to it. When Jesus came up to this man having learned that he had been in this sad state for so long, he asked this man if he wanted to get well. The man then proceeded to tell Jesus that he had nobody to help him get into the pool so he could get in first and be healed. Logically, one would expect Jesus to give him a hand and help him into the pool at the appropriate time so he could be healed. Instead, however, Jesus did something far better and told him to get up, pick up his mat and walk! I can imagine this guy must have initially been shocked at the instruction, staring at him with his mouth gaping open.

Why would Jesus have gone about things in a totally unexpected way like this? For one, maybe the “power of the healing waters” was just a myth and Jesus did not want this man to believe that the power was in the water itself. Or maybe he was revealing himself as Jehovah Rapha, the one TRUE miraculous healer, to build this man’s faith in him alone to meet all of his needs. The reason Jesus went about the healing this way is not as important as the fact that Jesus met the need in a miraculous way, because he could and it grew this man’s faith in him.

Could it be that this is why God chooses to answer our prayers in a totally different way than we expect so that our faith in him grows as we see God do the impossible in unimaginable ways? The Bible says that his ways are far higher than our ways and his thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). His power knows no bounds and he is not limited in resources or by time and space. We are so very limited in what we can do or think and for this reason, we tend to think of all the possibilities “inside the box.”

Every time, the Lord makes me smile when he answers these prayers by supplying my needs in a way that blows my socks off! The latest example is with my son’s college textbooks, which were going to be quite expensive. As I began to pray about it and even picked up some extra hours at work, I thought that God was going to answer my prayer through the extra work hours to pay for his books (pay back the debt owed on the book purchase). When the hours still came up too short to be able to pay for them, I remembered that my dad had told me at my son’s graduation to let him know how much my son’s college books were going to be and he would like to do something to help. Thinking that this was how God was going to provide, I called and let my dad know how much they were but he did not even respond or say anything more about it. This was very unlike my dad because whenever he says he will help with something, he always comes through.

It seemed I was running out of options at this point, but I continued praying for this need to be met. About three weeks after talking to my dad (and two months into the school year), an unexpected check came from the school financial office reimbursing me for about 90% of the cost of the books! I had no idea that his scholarship funds had enough to pay for the books and I was never informed it would cover the books at all. As a matter of fact, we were told to apply for a book scholarship (as his ACT score was quite high so he was eligible for free books) but we missed the deadline to due to a series of unavoidable circumstances.

There are several other examples I could share, but this one confirmed to me again to expect the unexpected from God and don’t try to figure out how it is going to work out in the end. Just pray and trust that he will meet the needs as they come up and leave the rest to him.

After all, he specializes in doing the unexpected.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

It is so easy to complain or become weary of being in a difficult situation we do not want to be in. We can think of all the reasons we “can’t wait to get out of this dead-end job,” for example. I have been there more than once, so I know how hard it is to see the light of day when in a job or a particular church, for example, where I don’t really want to be and I can list all the reasons why I would rather be anywhere else. When things get overwhelmingly difficult, we humans tend to want to escape to something better. “If only I could get a better paying job, if only I wasn’t an outcast at this school or if only I was married to a good man, then…”  Yes, then I would be happy, because in my mind, anything else has to be better than this situation. But then again, I have been on the flip side too and I have learned that no matter what difficult place we find ourselves at physically, there are places that could be (and are) even worse! The best story I can use to illustrate this is that of the frog who found himself in a frying pan with the stove turned on and it was very hot, so he jumped into the pot of water next to it which slowly boiled him to death. Because the frog’s surroundings seemed better temporarily he did not even realize this too was a dangerous predicament until it was too late.

How many people jump from one bad relationship to another or leave a good spouse for “something better” because they are not happy enough where they are? Or how about the guy I know who quit his job because he was miserable where he was working only to find himself unemployed for a few years afterwards. Sometimes, we fail to look at the blessings right where we are because the difficulties seem to outweigh the blessings.

About six years ago, I was in a job that I felt was a terrible fit for me. Every day I would go in, more and more stressed as the day went on, only to end up leaving in tears. One part of the job came very easy to me and I did quite well at, but the other part of the job was just not clicking with me and I felt like I was a square peg being forced into a round hole. Not only that, but I was transferred to another office that had a lot less traffic and was in a part of town less desirable than the one I was transferred from. Grumble, grumble was my new mantra. Now my commission would nose-dive and I would have to drive twice the distance to work! I found out quickly this office had less than half the traffic of the first location I worked, which meant “good bye, commission.” However, I tried hard to stick it out even though I left most days very frustrated!

I am a single parent, so I really depended on the income and commission. I was willing to do what it took to learn the job completely to no avail. I did my very best, which was still not enough. It was like telling a fish to walk in the shallow water like a duck. Impossible. Finally, the manager called me a few weeks into the job out at the new location and dropped the bomb, which was actually a relief, and told me that she did not think this job was a good fit for me (I totally agreed). I do not give up easily; I am very persistent and stubborn, which I have had to be because of all the great difficulties I have been through that would have destroyed almost any normal person with average strength and resiliency. Although most people see these traits as a negative (which they can be sometimes), I believe God gifted me with them so that I could survive all I have been through and I am thankful!

However, all of that being said, while I was at the undesirable job location I had time to minister to a young lady who had fallen far away from God and the church. Having just been through a divorce and all the struggles that come with that just a few years prior, I shared with her that without God and my church family and all that God has helped me through, I literally would have fallen apart after my divorce. We had many great conversations about that sort of thing and I just tried loving on her and showing her Jesus’ love. In that short time I was there, the Lord spoke to this young lady through me and my difficulties to bring her back to Him. She was very thankful and told me directly that, “I feel that God led you here specifically to help me see that I need to come back to him,” which she did as a result. I think she felt she had fallen too far away to come back with all the things she had done and the fact that she was very young and pregnant out of wedlock. That alone made EVERY difficult day there worth it! Sometimes we do not see the whole picture until the very end of a situation or maybe even months or years later, but every situation we are in is for a reason whether we see it or not at the time.

The two things I learned through that experience was: 1) Don’t complain about where the Lord has me because in some way He has a purpose for me being where I am, and 2) Bloom right where I am planted and make the best out of a difficult situation. I have carried those lessons with me ever since then. Another valuable lesson I learned was that I can find things to be happy about no matter where I am because I now realize that God has me placed there for someone or something and He is using me…right where I am planted.

No Condemnation

I grew up in a very condemning home as a child. For my first 18 years, all I heard was how everything I did was wrong. I could never mow the lawn “just so” and I never seemed to quite finish the job perfectly like I was expected to. When I worked very hard in school and did my very best by getting a “B,” I was asked why I didn’t do better. I was seen and treated as an adult in a child’s body and expected to “know better” (even though I didn’t), and not as a child who is learning and needed to be guided and taught how to do things the right way. My environment was not one of love, grace or acceptance nor did I ever hear, “good try” or “I am proud of you.” I did frequently hear “dummy,” however.

As a result, I set very unrealistic expectations on myself that were impossible to keep and when I did not live up to them, I condemned myself for being so “stupid, unworthy or not good enough.” I would find myself saying, “If only you were smarter, better, thinner or prettier.”

I constantly played the game of comparing myself to others who were smart, attractive and successful, which of course brought jealousy and sadness. That game will wear you down and tear you down more quickly than anything else I know of and I played it for years. Looking back on those years, I realize that what I was doing was saying “God, you made a mistake here! I am no good. Why is everyone else so much better?” For years, I felt that God had surely made a mistake when he created me. That is what condemnation does.

Condemnation is defined as the expression of very strong disapproval, synonymous with criticism, denunciation and vilification. It also means condemning someone to a punishment, sentencing. Because I grew up in an environment devoid of love, affection and encouragement and was always told how I never measured up nor would I ever, I fell for the lies that condemnation told me and it took years to undo. Every single thing I did as a child, even the good things done with my best attempts were met with very strong disapproval. Criticism abounded and broke my spirit. For several years afterwards, even when I did something well and put forward my best effort, I always found too many flaws in it. It did not matter how many people told me how good something looked or turned out, the voice of condemnation rang louder in my head, blocking out the praise.

Although I always had a strong faith in God even throughout my childhood, I still fought with feelings of not being good enough. I still struggled with feelings of inadequacy that told me I was not even good enough for God or heaven (though I really knew better). [Thank God that none of us are good enough and it is only by his grace that we are saved!] It took several years of being out of that childhood environment I was in, but God gradually replaced the feelings of condemnation with his loving presence. It took years of persistence and patience on God’s part but he set me free from the continuous “prison of condemnation” I was in!

Though I was saved as a child and even re-dedicated my life to the Lord when I was 16, I still had the “demons” from the past to wade through. Those who have been through very difficult childhoods or in very abusive relationships understand how difficult this cycle is to break. From my personal experience and in seeing those who have had to deal with pasts like this, it is very clear that ONLY by the power of the blood of Jesus can one be set free from living in the “prison” of condemnation! Even then, it sometimes takes months or years to re-train your brain to see the good in yourself and shake off the voice of condemnation when you make a mistake or something doesn’t turn out right.

Throughout the last 20 years, I have learned to go easy on myself and that it is indeed okay to be imperfect. I learned that even if my floors were not pristine enough to eat off of, it was okay. If my floor boards were not dusted and my kid’s face was dirty, the world would NOT end! I even learned that it was (and is) okay to laugh at myself and my imperfections! How amazing and freeing this has been after being stuck where I was for so long!

Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Although we may have grown up with very condemning parents or have lived with a very condemning spouse, we need to remember that God does not condemn those of us who are in Christ Jesus. Instead, he gently convicts us (shows us the answer to the problem). There is a vast difference between the two.

 

Condemnation would be God standing over us like a parent yelling, “Not good enough! What a failure you are!” However, the conviction of God is like a loving parent standing next to us when we make a mistake or commit a sin and in a gentle, loving way shows you how to do it the right way. Though he shows us what is wrong, he even more importantly shows us how to make it right (by the blood of Jesus, which washes away sin).

I still remember the first time in my life when someone chewed me out and instead of walking away ashamed with my head held low and feeling horrible about the situation, I left with a totally different feeling. I was able to walk away with my head held high and said, “This is still okay; it is not the end of the world. He will get over it. I know I did not do this intentionally and meant no harm.” My boss had called me in and with a smile on his face (which is the worst way to get chewed out) said that he did not appreciate the fact that me (and my co-worker) were not getting something done. This was completely out of our control, because he did not do the work required of him so that we could do our part.

That event happened within the past five years. My boss did not discuss these matters with kindness or grace and in years past this would have left me in tears. Instead, however, I walked away…perfectly fine with the situation and with myself, victorious!

Checkmate.

Death To Weariness

Life is a long journey, or more accurately, a trek. Some days, we want nothing more than to give up when everything seems to be going in the wrong direction. We wake up refreshed, ready to bulldoze the world…and then life happens. We get cut off, not twice, but three times on our commute to work, almost get run over and end up punching in late, putting our already heavy workload that much further behind. Then, a co-worker comes to work with a rotten attitude and then our computer freezes up. After the computer gets back up finally, our printer goes out. At lunch time, you realized you forgot your lunch and don’t have any extra money to spend right now, so you decide you might as well work right through lunch, as you are behind anyway. The rest of the day is pretty uneventful, however, so you breathe a sigh of relief as you listen to uplifting worship music on the way home. Then you walk in the door, and the kids had a crisis or a meltdown and so it starts once again.

However, we must make a conscious choice every single day to not let people or things weigh us down. It is so easy to get caught up in the difficulties around us, especially when everything seems to be going against us. It feels like every waking moment is a battle sometimes and no matter how hard you push through the darkness, it seems overwhelming. It seems like all the good we strive to do is in vain sometimes. No matter how nice and pleasant we are or how great our attitude is, sometimes people are just plain ornery and things still do not work out.

I used to be naïve enough to think that if I always spread love, kindness and gentleness to everyone, they would reciprocate. I thought my positive attitude would rub off on them. I had a rude wakeup call one too many times, however, and I realized that people were going to behave the way they were going to behave, no matter how great of an attitude I had. I used to take this personally, having grown up in an abusive home where I was led to believe that everything was my fault or that I was so bad that I deserved getting treated badly. However, my breakthrough came years ago when I realized that this was not true (but a lie from the enemy).

Another breakthrough came when I quit placing expectations on how others should treat me (and that this was independent from how I treated them) and it lifted a huge burden off my shoulders! When I released people from this expectation, the kindness I showed them was solely because I desired to love others right where they were, whether they loved me back or not. I realize that everyone has a battle I know nothing about and when they carry a less-than-desirable attitude, it could be sheer weariness from the battle they are facing right at this moment.

When my focus gets off of the Lord and on the things around me, I notice that difficulties as well as those people who are being difficult seem to be much bigger than they actually are and I am downright weary. All that I do every day to try to make a difference in other’s lives seems to get lost in the shuffle, practically meaningless. However, when my focus is on the Lord and the blessings in my life, the difficulties in my life seem dim in comparison and I am spurred on to be a blessing to others even more.

Instead of trying so hard to love everyone and expecting to be loved by them too (which is very tiring), I started gauging the majority my focus on those around me who seem lonely or who appear to be going through a hard time. I still take a minute or two to show simple kindness, gentleness and love to everyone as Christ calls us to do, but I do so and then move on from there. If I want to really make a difference, I need to go where the difference needs to be made the most.

Doing too much for too many people is enough to make anyone weary, even the strongest of us! I have learned that when I spread myself too thin and try to be too much to too many people, I get too weary to do anything at all. All I want to do is go home, plug into the wall and recharge my battery, which never seems to fully recharge. Then instead of being out there making a difference, I am at home doing nothing at all.

Galatians 6:9 says, "Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart." Do not allow yourself to get overwhelmed and weary in doing things for others while completely neglecting yourself. I don’t know what it will take for you personally not to become too weary in doing good, but I know what works for me every time: Putting my focus back on God, remembering my purpose and taking regular time to do something good for myself or take a weekend away to relax.

One of the best things I have done in a very long time for myself was to take off on a road trip to the beach, just me. I had no agenda, no time restrictions and when I was not on the beach enjoying the waves and sand, I was looking for something different to enjoy in a nearby city. Although I was only gone for a long weekend, I left there feeling more energized and refreshed than I had in months if not years, and I did not feel the least bit guilty. I had the time of my life! And when I returned back to life again…I felt like Super girl!

So do not allow yourself to become weary in doing good…for in due time good will come, even if it takes a long time to see the fruits of your labor. Just don’t give up in the meantime and remember to be kind to yourself too. J

When She Died, He Was There

Two years ago, death lingered on our doorstep. Two full weeks before she passed, I has a strong premonition that death was going to touch our family in some way soon. I did not feel that it was going to be one of my kids, but I knew without a doubt that death was somehow going to touch our family and the feeling would not let go…until it happened.

One hot August week, she started showing signs of aging, walking around a little more slowly than usual. She was getting rather old, so I figured she was probably showing signs of arthritis. However, everything else seemed normal in her day-to-day activities so I was not overly concerned at that point. By the end of that week, she started going downhill a little more quickly. By Monday, she seemed a little worse and it was then that I got concerned, driving her to the country to her “favorite doctor.” Surely, this would be a quick fix, I assured myself. No need to panic quite yet.

Who is she, you might ask? Her name was Angel, a big part of our family…a Rottweiler lab mix who was adopted while I was separated from my husband. She was 30 pounds and full of wrinkles as a three-month-old pup. Cutest pup I ever laid eyes on up to that point. I knew she would grow into those wrinkles in time. This was her last chance at getting rescued. As I went up to her kennel, she timidly went up to the cage door and licked me through it, wagging her tail. She had a very sweet, tender spirit about her. Yes, it was love at first sight.

When she was two years old, she moved with us out-of-state to our new home. My husband left a few months later and she remained a comfort to us when we really needed her. I can’t recount how many times I squeezed her tight and cried all over her during those first few months, but it was a lot! Just having moved to a new state, away from our friends and further away from my family, she was our friend, our family. She was happy when I was happy and sad when I was sad. Although I knew that the Lord was with us during that very difficult, lonely time, she was almost like Jesus “with skin on.”

Fast forward almost ten years later, when she started falling ill. On a Monday in August, I took her to the country to her veterinarian’s office. Fully expecting her vet to say it was arthritis and writing her a script for medication, we left that day with totally unexpected news that I was not prepared for. After doing some blood work, she pointed out that her gums, ears and tongue were whitish color, not the usual pink, which I had not even noticed. A few minutes later, she came into the office and said that Angel was critically ill and that, “If she was a person, she would be put into the ICU.” Her red blood cells were very critically low and her white cell count was way off too. The vet said we could try some medications (along with a steroid) to hopefully reverse the damage. This was a far cry from the “arthritis” I thought she had!

After doing an ultrasound, the vet said she was bleeding internally and one of her organs was quite enlarged (if I remember correctly, it was either the liver or pancreas) but she could not tell where the bleeding was coming from. We were to come back in 48 hours to recheck her blood work after the medications had been started and see if it would begin to reverse itself. By then, she wasn’t eating or drinking and laid in one spot all day. I had to carry her (all 80 pounds of her) to the car. Unfortunately, her counts had not gotten better and we were told to come back the next day, Thursday, to recheck the blood count again. All of the rest of Wednesday, she did not move but laid in one spot. She went from being almost as active as she normally was the week before to this in less than a week.

By Wednesday, I knew she was not going to pull through. The boys were in Florida with the church youth group and when they had left that Saturday morning before, she was still pretty normal but just walking slowly. The boys called every day to check on her. By Tuesday, I said it did not look good and the vet thought it was cancer. By Wednesday, I told them she may not be around when they got back, though I was hoping she would be so they could say good-bye to her. At first, I prayed she would hang in there long enough for the boys to come home (the next Saturday). However, I could not bear seeing her suffer like this for much longer. I also prayed that I would not have to make the decision to put her down because she had literally been part of our family for over eleven years. My prayer soon turned to asking God to take her very soon and quickly because it tore my heart up to see her go downhill so fast, though part of me was still hanging on to that very last shred of hope that she would make a miraculous recovery.

She had an appointment with the vet that Thursday afternoon, but did not quite make it that long. I called into work knowing that she probably would not last the day and I could not stand the fact that she might have to die alone and the last thing I wanted to do was to walk in to seeing her body on the living room floor. Right before noon on that Thursday, she had two seizures that threw her across the floor. I went over to her, rubbing her side and saying it was okay to let go. I know without a doubt she was holding out until the boys came home, but she could not do it any longer. I put my arms around her, saying through my tears, “Its ok, you can go now sweet Angel. I don’t want you to suffer anymore,” and that was it.

I was not prepared for the intensity of the pain and loneliness I faced, especially at night, when she usually jumped on my bed and went to sleep with me. I did not know my heart would break that much over a dog. Actually, she was more than a dog to me because she was there when I was going through the hardest years of my adult life. God prepared me over two weeks before she even got sick that death was going to touch our family in some way. He was there comforting me in Angel’s final moments as I was all alone, just me and the shell of what was the best thing that came into my life after my husband left.

If God went to this much trouble to prepare me, comfort me, answer my prayers of desperation and quench my aching heart at this loss (of an animal), how much more would he do so for you, who have lost or are losing a loved one? His Word says he will NEVER leave us nor forsake us…even when a beloved pet dies.

When she died…He was there. He is there for you too.

War of the Mind

Any one of us who have been truly devoted Christians for any length of time knows without a doubt that Satan attacks our mind, and he is very good at it! The Bible says that Satan (the thief) “comes to steal and kill and destroy.” (John 10:10) He usually does not hit hard all at once but starts small like with dissatisfaction in life and with God, a doubt about something you read in scripture, something that someone said to you that hurt you, etc. Then he blows these things way out of proportion and gets you thinking about all kinds of things that are not true. On top of that, he gets you to doubt your own value to God and others.

Because this thief comes not only to steal but also to KILL and DESTROY, he goes to great lengths to hit us at every single area, no matter how small, that is an area of weakness in our lives. Just like a robber (thief), he quietly slithers through a barely cracked open window or easily break through a door that doesn’t quite close all the way. If all else fails, he kicks the door in or smashes a window. He will not stop until he gets in somewhere! He will go to great lengths to get into your mind. If discouragement doesn’t work, he will try doubts. If doubts don’t work, he will try temptations. If these don’t work, then he will even go as low as to get you to minimize your sinful attitudes and actions. “Well, it’s not that bad. Everyone is doing it,” or “At least you are not as bad as him/her…” he says slyly. (Does this tactic sound familiar, Eve?)

Believe me, I could write a book solely on how Satan has discouraged me and filled me with doubts, everywhere from doubting my own value to the truth of a few scriptures that have not seemed to be playing out the way the Bible says it is supposed to (i.e. struggling financially when I faithfully tithe and am a good steward). The great news is that God has given me some very specific promises through the past ten years that I have written down and often refer to! Some have already been fulfilled and some have yet to be fulfilled.

Because I know without a doubt that God spoke these promises to me very specifically, Satan cannot even put a shred of doubt in my mind about them because I stand firm on God’s promises that WILL come to me one day. Because of that, Satan resorts to using other verses I have come across that don’t seem to apply to me because my life has been one very difficult valley after another! However, because I stand on the word of God and refuse to believe some of scripture and not other parts of it, I have to keep fighting back with the promises that God has already given to me.  

God has given us his Word (the sword of the Spirit) to combat the enemy when it comes to our mind. The mind is a very powerful tool and can either overcome great obstacles (with the power of Jesus) or become destroyed (by the thief). My life in particular has just been one of those that has been extremely difficult at every turn and like the saying goes, “I can’t win for losing,” and “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no ‘luck’ at all” rings very true in my life (though I don’t tend to believe in luck). Some of us have just been dealt a very difficult deck in life. I cannot explain why, although there have been many times I have asked God why and if there was something I did to deserve all of this, which has been much more than the average person has had to endure.

I wish I could give some of you an answer; in particular, those who are faithful followers of Christ, seek him, love him and have committed yourselves at all costs and still struggle greatly with a very hard life, but I can’t. I think that is a journey we must take with our heavenly father. He is always teaching, molding and using us in ways we cannot see because the changes are subtle. However, I can say that God has always prepared me for the next big challenge by using a previous challenge to learn from and build on. He has never left me out in the cold to “figure it out on my own.” He has given me wisdom and even warns me of (as well as prepares me for) the next big difficulty right before it hits.

God never said one time in the scripture that our lives would be easy. Maybe some people seem to have it easier and better than we do, but again, Satan can use this to breed discouragement, jealousy and even anger if we are not careful. Then before you know it, we are focused so much on their easier life and more on our difficulties that we cannot even see the goodness that God has put in our lives. The second part of John 10:10 states, “…I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” That means something different to different people. I too have to be careful not to compare my life to someone else’s life that seems so much better than mine, because then I cannot see the fullness in my life.  

However, we can combat this if we are vigilant:  

I am very mindful every single day to thank God for all the blessings he has given me and I name them one by one. There are small glimpses of fullness in my journey of difficulty…my kids, our sweet adopted dog, living in a good, safe neighborhood (as a single mom on my tight budget, this is a miracle), the beautiful cool, crisp weather, my closest friends, food in the pantry, the beauty of nature, etc. Find the beauty around you and the basic needs that God has provided for you. Write them down and thank God every day for them, adding to the list as you remember more things.

Rebuke the enemy and his mind games (War of your mind) each and every time in the name of Jesus’ blood! This is a very under-utilized tool, but very powerful! The scripture says that Jesus’ name is so powerful (as is his blood) that even demons flee at his name! There is great, great power in the name of Jesus that no other power can overcome, not even death! If you have not tried this, I encourage you to do so! I have experienced immeasurable peace in the midst of the battle of my mind by doing this and wished I had done so sooner. Luke 10:17 says, “The seventy two returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!”

The Lord has given us the tools for victory…will you use them to overcome the enemy?

The Strength to Fight

Because the Lord is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, he never changes. Deuteronomy 20:1 states, “When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you.” Although this was written hundreds and hundreds of years ago, it still applies to our situations today. Not that we see horses and chariots in our personal battles, but we do fight very real battles which seem much bigger than ourselves, and we too need God’s deliverance from them.

Not only do we have a battle against flesh within that we must conquer (thoughts, feelings, temptations, attitudes), but we also have battles raging on around us in our society. Some are literal battles, some are not. Some are battles on humanity, battles for power, freedom and wealth or to attain all sorts of worldly things, no matter who has to be trampled on or abused to get those things.

Other battles are against those of us who have put their faith and trust in Christ. We are told by our world to “sit down, keep your mouth shut, do what we tell you and accept every lifestyle, whether you agree with it or not.” We often hear “Don’t judge,” or things like, “Love the sinner AND the sin. Acceptance is king. Do whatever feels good to you.” This is becoming a bigger and bigger battle every day, even in the United States. Just by standing up for what we believe in, we are accused of being hateful and intolerant. We are being told that our beliefs are archaic and need to “catch up with the times.” We are teased and cursed at because we pray to a God we cannot see with our eyes, or as the world puts it, “talking to your imaginary friend in the sky.” These battles can be very tough and wear us down if we are not careful.

Aren’t you thankful that God did not just leave us here to fend for ourselves and figure out how to survive these battles on our own?! In the aforementioned verse, we are assured that the Lord is with us and he fights for us, so we have nothing to be afraid of. We can go out with the same confidence that these people did as well as with the same confidence that the shepherd boy David had when he faced the giant (Goliath) and took him down with a few stones and a sling shot. How? Because the same God that gave little David the strength to win that battle is the same God who gives us strength to fight our battles today. We too face giants throughout our lives…relationship giants, financial giants, physical giants…and the list goes on and on. These things are far bigger than we are and God knows that, so he gives us the strength to fight these battles as he fights alongside us and for us.

He even fights many battles we cannot see, such as those found in Ephesians 6:12. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” If we knew all of the unseen enemies we had that God shielded us from we would be astonished, to say the least.

It would be so much easier to curl up, lie down and give up in the midst of all of these battles. There have been several times in my life where I wanted so badly to give up and raise the white flag of surrender. But, it is clear that God does not want us to do this because he says not to give up and that he will fight our battles for us and with us. Not only that, but he gives us an extra dose of strength when we are thrown head first into a huge battle.

You name it, I have pretty much been through most of it in my 40+ years of life. Life has been like a huge, rocky cliff with ragged edges that cut me going up and cut me going down. But God has been there crawling up and down that mighty cliff with me, cheering me on and giving me the strength to go one more inch. He has given me all the tools to survive these times. Besides his strength, he gives me wisdom, guidance and his Holy word to help direct the next step. He gives me a full coat of armor so that I can stand firm as I resist the evil around me.

Those without Christ have the “armor” of drugs, alcohol, wealth, sex, hobbies, social status, etc. The problem with that armor, however, is that it is very flimsy and does not outlast the fierce battles in life. It may be a temporary fix to help get you through one battle, but then what happens when one more thing happens such as when somebody cheats you, robs you, attacks you or fires you from your job? Does this armor stand the test of time faithfully?

Without the Lord’s strength and the armor he has given me, just the childhood abuse alone (that I endured) would have completely destroyed me. Had I been left to my own devices and left God out of the equation, I would not have had a leg to stand on. No chance to make it through intact. However, because I put my faith and trust in him at a very early age and chose to forgive those who seriously hurt me, he has fought for me and with me and I am eternally grateful!

I pray that you choose the same. You can turn away from God and try to fight all these battles on your own (and fail), or ask God to help you and trust him to fight for you and with you. His armor and protection is 100% guaranteed to withstand any battle you face. I think I will go shine my armor now. J

Stony Hearts

Many people are walking around with stony hearts. Sometimes, these stony hearts are caused by past regrets, past situations or past heart breaks. Usually anger, hurt, bitterness or betrayal can cause stony hearts. We should have been treated better. We deserved to be born into a better home. We worked hard for that promotion, but somebody less deserving got it. There are all kinds of situations that “motivate” some people to keep walking around with stony hearts.

I personally know people who have walked around for years with stony hearts. Instead of working through past difficulties, overcoming them and forgiving others, they have chosen to live a life of anger, hurt and bitterness. It would have been easier to bust out of Alcatraz than to bust through their stony hearts. The walls are built so high that no amount of love and kindness would even begin to put a dent in their hearts because they refuse to allow it. However, with God all things are possible, even busting through these types of walls and hearts. I have personally seen that happen as well.

Case in point. I have spoken at Teen Challenge (an international Christian-based drug and alcohol in house rehab program) locally for about three years now, sharing my testimonies and encouraging these young men that no matter what they have been through, God is bigger and they too can be overcomers. There was one young man in particular whom I will never forget. I first saw him sitting in a chapel service I spoke at about two years ago. He had the look of a rock hard Marine chiseled on his face. I knew without a doubt that this was the last place he wanted to be at that moment, in a chapel service. He stared straight ahead and his eyes and tight-lipped mouth did not move an inch. When I stood next to him, I felt a negative presence within him which was intimidating, to say the least.

As I left, I could not get this young man out of my mind. I kept seeing his face and remembering the uneasiness I felt when standing next to him, almost as if I had been at the gates of Alcatraz. I firmly believe that God laid this young man on my heart for a very specific purpose, and I began to pray for him by name and that God would reach through his stony heart and break him out of this hard wall he had built around himself. I began to have a burden for this young man that brought me to tears as I prayed for him. I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to reach out to him and pray for him by name.

A few Sundays later, this group of men came to our evening church service. I went up to this young man and spoke to him, telling him that I felt that God wanted me to tell him how much He loved him and how God had laid him on my heart to pray for him and I encouraged him to stay strong in this fight. I also said something to the effect that I believed he would overcome this and that God would use him in a very special way some day. Frankly, I don’t remember everything I said to him but I do know that God gave me the words to say and as scared as I was to go up to him and encourage him as I did (I do not normally go up to strangers and strike up conversations like this), I felt a strong urgency to talk to him and tell him I was praying for him. After that, I gave him a hug. Again, this is something I don’t do to strangers, but I felt led to do so at that particular moment.

He was very tall, stared straight ahead as I spoke and stood like a stone statue as I reached out and hugged him. His eyes did not budge and neither did the frown. I don’t even know if he realized what was going on or heard anything I said. To be honest, it was out of my comfort zone big time to say these things to a total stranger, much less hug one. I almost felt stupid for all of that afterwards, but felt so strongly led to do so beforehand, I still went through with it. Then I began to have doubts; you know, when you do the right thing though it was very difficult and uncomfortable but you did it anyway and then Satan beats you up for it. Then I began to overthink it and even began to talk myself into thinking I just made a fool out of myself…for a few minutes. Then I stood straight up, gave myself a crash course in Overcoming Doubt and moved on. I continued to pray for this young man every day.

A few months later, I went back and spoke again at the chapel service. Same young man was there. This time, the stony eyes and hard mouth were gone. There was a tiny hint of softness in his face and he actually seemed to be listening to what I was speaking on that particular night. If I remember correctly, he even shook my hand after my testimony and said thank you for the words I shared. Sometime after that, I went up to him again after a Sunday evening service and he looked like a completely different man…unrecognizable! He brightened up when I went over to him and he started talking so much I could hardly keep up. I am still stunned by the radical transformation that God did in his life!

Even though some people choose to remain stony-hearted, a few are reached by a single person who goes out of their comfort zone by sharing some encouraging words, reaching out with a hug and praying for them by name on a daily basis. If you notice someone like this, ask God to give you the courage to reach out to them in love. God could use you as the first stepping stone to break through their stony heart when nobody else would even dare try. Sometimes it takes a stranger with a burden to begin to break the walls of a stony heart just enough that they begin to open up their heart to God and allow Him to work on their heart the rest of the way.

This is only possible with God as He works through us when we are obedient to his call. Ezekiel 36:26 states, “I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Indeed, he can…and does!