A lone Ranger

Whenever I think of the lone ranger, I think of a man on a majestic horse who comes in and magically saves the day…a hero! Not that I have ever watched this program, as that was before my time.

However, there is another thought that comes to my mind when I think of “a lone ranger.” Myself at particular seasons in my life. Have you ever felt that way too? I have more times than I can count throughout my life. Just within the past ten years, my first star on the lone ranger hall of fame came after my husband left. We had just moved here and I was a lone ranger in a new city over 700 miles from my family, no savings, no money and I did not even know my way around this big city yet.

I earned my second star within the past few years when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, a dreaded “invisible” disease in some cases. About 75% of the people I truly thought were good friends were not, I found out quickly when I got this news. It hurt like you would not believe, going from thinking that all kinds of people really cared only to find myself completely alone after receiving one of the most difficult pieces of news I have ever received. Some “friends” backed away, quit talking to me, changed the subject abruptly when I told them or just cracked a little smile (maybe out of not knowing what to say?), like telling them I just broke a fingernail or got a cold. That actually shook me to the core. I used to be the life of the party, the one who always enjoyed being around a lot of people and went to every function I was invited to. Since then, however, I have backed off a lot! I have become more to myself than I ever used to be and skip out on most activities where there will be a lot of people. I have actually become more favorable with staying in, doing things on my own, with my kids or one of my true friends.

However, the good that came out of this was that the Lord helped me to be content being alone. I can sit in church alone now and not feel uncomfortable, go to the store, a restaurant, Starbucks or even a movie alone and I am A-Okay with that for the most part! I also used to be overly trusting but since then, I am not quite as trusting as I used to be. One part of me thinks that the Lord may be using this time of a-lone-ness to prepare me for another season in my life. And, I know that whenever people leave my life, God is always gracious and kind enough to bring others into my life. I know that God wastes no experiences, not even ones where you felt like most of your friends left you when you needed them most.

A few months ago, a new Jeremy Camp song came out, titled “He Knows.” It hit me like a ton of bricks, thinking of what I had just felt like I lost over the past few years. This song talks about how Jesus knows our EVERY suffering, EVERY pain, and EVERY difficult moment because He too suffered and was rejected on earth. He knows the feeling of true, deep pain. He knows what it is like to have those closest to you (his disciples) flee when you need them the most (when he was arrested, tried in court, flogged and hung on the cross). He knows what it is like to have someone love you one moment and the next they turn their back on you. He also knows what it is like to have people back stab you. He knows what it is to do without most things we take for granted on a daily basis.

Even if you feel that nobody else cares and you feel completely alone when you get a bad doctor’s report, lose someone close to you due to death or divorce, lose your job or house or any number of things, remember that “He knows.” He forsake the bountiful pleasures of heaven to come down to this sin-filled earth so that he could walk in our shoes, face what we face, overcome all things and die on the cross for a lost world full of lonely people.

Remember that God sees every single sparrow (such small, insignificant, unnoticed birds that are a dime a dozen) that falls to this earth. This very same God, the one who created the universe and placed each star in the sky, naming each one, lovingly records your EVERY lament and collects every tear in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). Not only that, but he is the “Father of all compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles, SO THAT we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (II Corinthians 1:3-4)

I have tried a relatively new “experiment” over the past few years, and that is, when I feel the loneliest (which sometimes includes holidays, my birthday or Valentine’s Day on occasion), I reach out and bless someone. Last year for Valentine’s Day, for example, instead of writing it off because I really do not like this holiday (could have something to do with not having a significant other, I suppose), I put together some little Valentine’s treat boxes for my co-workers. I had a blast creating them, putting each one together and deciding what to put inside each one, and the gals I work with absolutely loved them and the smiles on their faces really brightened my day! I think that was one of the best Valentine’s Days ever (to me)! I am coming up with other creative ways to bless someone when I feel out of sorts, because so far it has been hugely successful! Someone else gets a blessing and so do I! My focus is off what I have lost or don’t have and on others and how to put some cheer into their lives! J

I gather from all of this evidence, plus all the other scriptures that correlate to the above message and the fact that I personally have felt the Holy Spirit’s presence when I have felt the most alone and have heard His voice when I have desperately needed to hear it, as well as the fact he always brings new friends into my life when I need them, that I am truly never a “Lone Ranger.” Thank you, Lord!!!