Not As It Seems

We adopted our dog from the shelter after our dog of almost 12 years passed away. I brought her home and shortly after had introduced her to her new kennel full of soft, fluffy blankets and a large, comfy cushion. The first time I left the house, I came home to find that our precious new pup had shredded the cushion and the batting was everywhere. She looked up at me as if she was proud of what she had accomplished. I was not impressed, however. My initial thought was that maybe because this was our previous dog’s cushion, she smelled the scent from her (even though it had been washed) and she just could not help herself. “Fine, dog. I will get you your own cushion then,” I said. “But, this will be your last chance.” I went and picked out the biggest, softest cushion I could find and brought it home. The next time I left the house, again, she tore up her brand-new cushion! I really LOVE dogs, but was maybe re-thinking my latest choice of dogs this time! I was mad this time, as I had spent money on that top of the line cushion, only for her to tear it up.

However, as I let her out of her kennel this time, something struck me. All of the batting (which was probably two bags worth) was “arranged” in a “nest” shape. She was not being destructive or acting out, she was simply creating her own comfortable nest shape to lie in the middle of, which helped her feel more secure and warm. I had to smile at that point as I realized how precious this was!

How many times do we (me included) jump to conclusions about why people do the things they do? Then we automatically assume the worst, grumbling “why on earth would they do that,” when maybe that person did what they did because of a defense mechanism they may be using to help them survive, or out of hurt, fear or maybe because of unknown circumstances that are out of their control.

When you find out the whole story, sometimes what that person did actually makes perfect sense. Even though someone may look beautiful, be really smart, well-to-do, happy and have a great job does not mean that this person has had an easy life. Looks can be deceiving at first.

One time in particular, I had jumped to conclusions about a friend who has a great job, gorgeous looks, is thin, very smart, and she even has a wonderful godly husband. I admit that I am a little envious and even feel hurt that I got the short end of the stick when I see people like this because I assume that they have an incredible life when my life has been one huge struggle after the other. I have always struggled financially, was left by my husband whom I loved very much, have been through years of childhood abuse and bullying, turned down over and over by men because I am what society considers very unattractive and can’t win for losing! I always struggled a lot in school just to get B’s and C’s and have gone from one low paying job to another although I worked much harder than most people to get a Bachelor’s degree.

However, I have so much to be thankful for! I REALLY enjoy the little things in life more fully than a lot of people who have had life handed to them. About three or four years ago, I learned (although the hard way through many years of struggling) to NOT compare my life to someone else’s life, because I don’t know their struggles or what they have been through in their past. And, I learned that this particular friend of mine had been through some very horrendous things, and actually our past stories were very similar in some ways. That opened my eyes up to the fact that everything is not as it seems to us, even when someone appears to have a near perfect life. Did I ever learn a lesson I will never forget! My heart broke for my friend and since then, I have no longer assumed anything about anyone until I get to know them and hear firsthand what their story is (we all have them, though some worse than others!) Yes, our two lives ended up as polar opposites as far as our current situations, but we have both walked a very difficult path to get where we are today, just the same.

We all have to take the good with the bad and praise God for the great times he gives us and pray though the difficult times he gives us, relying on him through each trial.  As Job said, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, but blessed be the name of the Lord.” Although I would never go back to any time of my life in the past, God has made a beautiful patchwork quilt out of everything in my life to make me who I am today! I have a lot going for me and I am extremely grateful for everything God has helped me overcome!

I have a lot of battle scars, but now I am able to help many people who are going through one of the many things I have been through. I would not trade the opportunity to help someone going through a very difficult time for anything in the world!! What I once considered a broken, useless life is now being used for a higher purpose and I am very thankful for this higher calling! In spite of all I have been through, God has given me deep down peace and joy that is ALWAYS there and the grace to make it through everything I have been through. He has also miraculously given me the ability to really love others, even after all I have been through. When I think about it, I really have all I need and no more or no less than what anyone else has been given by God.

I will never understand the “whys” of the horribly broken road I have had to walk since the day I was born, but I chose a long time ago to keep my eye on the prize, keep pressing on toward the future and make the very most of what life I have left. I have also chosen to keep my focus on the good things in life, even the little things, and dwell on the good memories I do have. I strive to make my little part of the world a better place and to speak life to all the people I can, who may be going through or have gone through things I will never know about, because not everything is as it seems.

~Marie Rose

For a longer, inspirational version of my testimony, order my book “Struck Down, But Not Destroyed” on Lifeway.com (Kindle or paperback)! J