Nothing Wasted

In Matthew 14:20 and John 6:12, two personal accounts are given for the miraculous feeding of the 5,000. Matthew’s account states, “They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of BROKEN PIECES that were left over.” The account in John states Jesus’ response after everyone had enough to eat, which was, “Gather the pieces that are left over. LET NOTHING BE WASTED.”

As many times as I have read these accounts, I never particularly noticed the words, “Let nothing be wasted” until I heard this on my radio station, and how the Lord uses everything and wastes nothing, not even your mistakes, hurts or pain. If he cared enough to see to it that pieces of broken bread were picked up and saved, how much more will he see to it that every one of your hurts, mistakes or painful moments will be used for something good and not wasted? Wow!

I spent too many years hating the fact that I have had to suffer so much heartache growing up in an abusive home and then going to school, only to be bullied day in and day out. I wasted so much of my time growing up struggling just to survive and wishing I was dead. Then after a good four years while in college, I graduated only to marry a man whom I thought was a Christian but was actually a woman chaser, addict, liar, lazy and became verbally and physically abusive the last few years of our marriage. Then I ended up a single parent right after moving out of state. I was alone in a new city, and had no job, no friends and no money. How could so many things go so wrong when I tried so hard to always do the right thing and live the right way? What was the point in all of this? I became a Christian as a young child, re-dedicated my life to God at 16 and became sanctified at 29. Many times, however, it almost felt as if a curse had been placed on me on the day I was born. Throughout my childhood, teenage years and young adult life, there were times I thought I was just one big mistake (which thankfully I “outgrew” that thinking).

When I became a single mom, however, I had nobody to depend on totally but God. He was ALL I had! Although the last five years of my marriage I had grown very, very close to the Lord and experienced His presence in ways that most people don’t get to experience, I still had my husband to depend on to meet my financial and material needs. Only when my husband left did I fully experience what it truly means to fully have to rely on God for every single need. My relationship with the Lord sky-rocketed at the time I became a single mom.

Today, I can say with confidence that none of those experiences have been wasted! I am so very thankful that God has taken ALL of my broken pieces of abuse, rejection, hurt, etc. and used them to shape the person I am today; strong, confident, mature and more trusting in the Lord for every good thing. I am also a very thankful person who relies on the Lord every single day for every single need in my life. God has so graciously brought broken, hurting people into my life over the past three years who have really needed someone to relate to as they were facing broken, hurting seasons in their lives and felt like nobody cared.

I also started speaking to church groups, at ladies conferences, Celebrate Recovery and Teen Challenge, encouraging others as I share how God has taken my broken pieces and put them together again. I am able to inspire them by my story of how God alone can take their broken pieces too and use them to help others as He has used mine.

It has been very exciting to watch God pick up the broken pieces of my abusive past and use them to glorify His name and help bring hope to others who are broken! I can relate to these people in a way that most people cannot. I can also reach those people who many people would not even give the time of day to, such as the homeless, the tattoo-covered, loner, addict, outcast, etc. I know that it is only by God’s grace that I did not go down the road of using drugs, alcohol or worse to numb all the pain I felt from what I have survived. Life is hard, but still good.

I feel honored that the Lord is using me to reach out to the very same type of people He reached out to when He walked on earth! He has given me the experience and tools to use as well as a big heart for those who are often overlooked by many others. My heart hurts for those who feel alone, abandoned, abused, forgotten or like misfits in our society; the underdog, so to speak, and I am so thankful! J

“Struck Down, But Not Destroyed,” Author Marie Rose. Available on Lifeway.com in paperback and Kindle.