Plastic Faces

In our society, we walk among people who wear “plastic faces” every day. Even our churches are full of “plastic faces.” How does everyone answer the question, “How are you?” Do they begin to tell you of their difficulties or do they say “fine,” as if an automatic reflex? Usually this is said as we quickly pass by someone and not meant to get a drawn out, truthful answer. It is more like a greeting in that situation. However, about a year ago, it hit me that I too answer that question without even thinking about what I was saying. In 2013, I went through the hardest year of my life and every day was a huge struggle, but I would still answer “fine” to that meaningless question, sometimes up to ten times a day. It is not that I meant to deceive anyone, but I truly did not even think about it.

I am thankful for the few people who can read me better than that and call me on it. One of my friends actually says, “You’re lying to me, right?” I just have to crack a smile and shake my head yes. But really, in our very busy society, who wants to hear about the difficulties you are facing? Who really cares to hear about how your marriage is on its last leg, how you are underemployed and struggling, your kids are difficult to manage or that you are struggling with loneliness?

I was raised with the mindset that I had to stand strong, deal with it, ask help from nobody and figure it out on my own. That was a very hard thing to overcome for me and it took years to undo that mindset. However, when I became a single parent ten years ago, I was rudely awakened to the fact that I could NOT do it all on my own and first and foremost, I needed God to meet my every single need and that it was okay to ask for help. There were many new situations I found myself in where I absolutely could not “figure it out on my own” and needed to learn to ask for help when I really needed it.

Even when we moved to another state while my marriage was on its last leg and my husband ended up leaving a few months after we moved, leaving me and the kids alone in a strange big city with no savings, job or friends, I was a master at putting on my “plastic face” in front of the neighbors and even my church family. I moved around a lot with my husband’s job and had been in many churches and I learned that for the most part that you don’t share your struggles with the majority (but only a few close trusted friends) without being told, “You shouldn’t feel that way,” or being told some Christianese, pious answer from someone who obviously has it all together such as, “God is bigger. It will be fine. God is faithful. Just forgive and let go. God doesn’t want you to feel this way. God says don’t be anxious. Just pray about it. God can. Don’t be negative.” And the list goes on and on. So…I learned to keep my mouth shut and fight these battles alone. But is suffering in silence what God wants for us?

Almost four years ago, we were looking for a new church home and visited three new churches. I saw something I had not seen before while visiting these churches. The pastor would name three or four specific things that people were struggling in or needed prayer for certain situations and asked people to stand if they wanted prayer in those areas. The first time I heard this, I thought “Surely nobody will stand and admit that.” However, many people stood! This was something new and refreshing about that to me! The “plastic faces” fell off as these people stood up and humbly admitted they needed prayer (help) in these areas of their lives. What if all our churches could be this way? What if we all left our plastic faces at the door and they went straight to the dumpster, never again to be recovered? How different would our world be? Would there be a drastic reduction in suicide? Overdose? Addictions?

When I moved here, my next door neighbors were very friendly and always smiled and waved at me whenever we saw each other outside. Later, I found out that God had divinely placed me in that rental house next to these neighbors for something far bigger than I ever imagined. As I said previously, my marriage was on its last leg and I hid it well. I too would smile and wave at my neighbors as if I did not have a care in the world. My neighbor’s husband knew the truth though, because God had spoken to him specifically that I was going through something very difficult and would soon need a friend, so he strongly encouraged his wife as he told her what God had told him about me needing a friend.

At first, she did not believe her husband and said, “No, that’s crazy. She is always happy and smiles at us. There is nothing wrong. Maybe you are hearing God wrong.” However, he was very insistent and we did become friends. When my husband moved out a few months later, she told me what her husband had told her and at first she did not believe him, but then found out he was right when this happened. My husband and I were masters at hiding the disintegrating marriage we were in.

Several people even told me during this period of time, “You have such a wonderful husband. You are lucky.” Every time they said that, I would die a little more inside knowing the truth, and literally felt sick to my stomach. If only they knew the truth that I was afraid to tell for fear of being rejected once again or being told to hold my head up high and pray about it more and it would work out. How many people have heard this right before their life circumstances became too unbearable and they turned to alcohol or drugs to numb their pain or ended up taking their lives, dying alone in their pain?

At work there is a sticker posted which reads, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle.” So true! My life has been extremely difficult, but I am very thankful that God has faithfully gotten me through my battles! He has given me strength and courage to face many difficulties! He has also put a few special friends in my life that I can go to when I need encouragement and prayer to help me through those times.  However, not everyone has a relationship with God and depends on Him the way you and I do.

We may be the only one who shows God’s love to that person who comes across our path, and instead of numbing their pain or taking their lives, they may as a result turn to God and experience His love and be set free too. So, when someone is clearly not doing okay and they say they are “fine,” stop and ask how they really are and truly listen to them. Help them take off their plastic face as you take yours off too and be a difference maker for the Lord, because HE IS WORTHY of our best!! J

 

Deadly Secrets

Loved ones who are seemingly happy on the outside and have everything in life going for them are sometimes the most broken people you know; take as an example actor and comedian, Robin Williams. He made millions of people laugh, but tragically was so broken on the inside to the point he saw no other way out but to end his life. Sometimes there are absolutely no signs that the person is suffering great inner turmoil and other times, there are signs everywhere that get ignored or go unnoticed by those around them who are either too busy or uncaring to get involved.

Christ often reached out to those who were suffering great inner turmoil, and were too afraid or unable to express what they were going through on the inside. Christ had compassion for the suffering, even for those who were deemed “untouchables” by society at that time, and so should we. So, who are the “untouchables” in our society that we should be reaching out to? Those who look different than we do, the dirty, smelly, poor, unattractive, or the one who is always alone off in the corner with their head hung low? Or how about those who are covered in tattoos and piercings and maybe even look scary to us, so we do not approach them? What about the quiet cleaning lady who comes late in the day when most of the employees have left for the day and probably goes unnoticed? Sometimes people put on a very tough exterior so as not to get hurt, but inside they are wasting away emotionally. They may smile or nod at those who walk by, but inside their heart is aching for someone to just notice them and speak a few kind, genuine words to them.

What if, instead, we were the ones on that end of the table…the one who goes unnoticed as we ache on the inside just hoping that we can reach out to someone, anyone, who will really listen to us? How would we want someone to treat us? Some of these people who quietly suffer inside do not know Christ as their personal savior, Lord and friend. We must show them Christ by loving them at their lowest. We may be the only “Bible” that some of these people ever “read.” Thankfully, we know that we have the Lord on our side, who is always there to comfort us in our troubles. II Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles, SO THAT we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (NIV) As wonderful as that is, however, we still need other people too. We are His hands and feet to show others the same love and comfort that He has given us when they need it in their troubles. Undoubtedly, God created us for relationships on earth.

Noticing the lonely, broken or “underdog” type may not come naturally to some people like it does to me. I purposely search out those people and start by acknowledging them with a smile, a hello or even a handshake or small compliment (this means nothing if artificial; it must be genuine, of course!) You never know whose life you are going to save or change for the better by one small act or word that comes from your heart!

For 40 years, I struggled with feeling like I had no purpose here and have spent considerable time in prayer asking God to show me what my purpose was. It has been difficult because I am one of those who dreams big and plays hard, works hard and loves hard. One of my biggest desires has been to change the world. However, it seems as if everything I have done has been for nothing or gets unnoticed. A few years ago, however, God showed me that the “ministry of acknowledgment” is vitally important; that is, to just simply acknowledge and show love to those who may not ever get noticed. Many of these people are hurting tremendously on the inside and I know, because I have been one of those people for years. I never realized that what I had been doing all along was viewed as a very important ministry in the eyes of God. Remember, anything done out of kindness, compassion or love never truly goes unnoticed. If you too feel like nothing you ever do gets noticed, try to view it from a different perspective. If you make a difference in someone’s life, you have made a huge difference.

I may not be the world-changer I longed to be, but I still have a purpose and plan to carry it out, no matter how small, and now I am encouraged to do this to the best of my ability. Sometimes, small = huge in God’s eyes, so do whatever it is He is calling you to do no matter how small it is. The God of the impossible can do mighty things through our obedience in doing the small things.

Loose lips sink relation-ships

The tongue is a small but powerful muscle. The Bible compares the tongue to a small rudder that turns a huge ship in one direction or the other (James 3:4) and to a spark that can start a forest fire (James 3:5). Psychologists say that for every one negative statement or word, a human being needs to hear ten positive statements or words to experience an “optimal range of human functioning.” How true that is. I have noticed that six people can say something great to or about me but the one person that comes along right afterwards and says something really hurtful is the one I think about longer and somehow, in my itty bitty mind it seems to almost overshadow or somehow discount the six positive things. I suppose that could have come from the very negative home environment I grew up in, but I have heard a lot of people express the same idea that this is true in their lives as well.

One word can start a family feud, cause nations to rise up in war, homes to fall apart and friends to cease being friends. James 3:7-8 states that all kinds of creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by man but no man can tame the tongue. Wow. Powerful words indeed. When we use words to tear others down instead of build them up, our tongue is like hot lava on somebody’s very soul…uncontrolled, fierce and very damaging in some cases.

This very topic has been heavy on my heart all week. In these days, which I believe to be the last days, it is actually very refreshing and almost surprising to come across someone who consistently speaks life into people and maintains a positive, loving attitude despite the circumstances around them. It truly touches my heart to hear a great, positive story on the news or in the paper where somebody sacrificed something to do something good for someone else or blessed someone in a big way. I know there are a lot of people who do things like this, it is just not heard about very often. How different would our world be if more positive things were reported by the media instead of so much negative?

When I was 29, God did a major work in my life when he sanctified me. He almost instantly turned me into a very positive, half-glass full, finding the silver lining in most situations kind of girl! That was truly a gift from him that I still cherish to this day! I have faced many difficult valleys since then, but have still managed to be able to find something small, even if trite, good while still in the valleys and especially on the other side of them. I am one of those Murphy’s Laws “disasters;” if something can go wrong, even if there is a 60% chance it won’t, it almost always does! It is just the way things roll in my life. However, I have still chosen to remain positive and try to see the one thing through each of those situations as a blessing or a positive. Or, if someone shows me something they did and it looks pretty much like a disaster, I will pick out the one positive thing about it and say something positive about it. There is almost always something good that can be said about just about anything! (Obviously, there are exceptions, of course).

I love people and I love to watch their faces light up when something little I say to them brightens their day! This past year, I have made it my goal for all of 2014 and on into the future to speak life to as many people as I can each day and to show kindness to someone I don’t even know (and especially to those I do know!) every single day! I am definitely not talking about flattering anyone or falsely building someone up just to say something, but I mean a genuine compliment that comes from my heart or observing something and speaking in accordance to that situation to encourage someone from my heart. I fully believe that this is what God calls us to do as Christians. It is said that “they will know we are Christians by our love.” It can take a five-minute good, positive conversation with someone to change the direction of their entire life! The same can be said of the opposite type of conversation. Everyone has either been fighting a battle, are in the middle of fighting one or soon going to fight a battle. Therefore, it is very fitting for us to speak life into others, especially considering how many negative, abusive people there are out there.  

Because I praise God with my tongue, I do not want to be one who also tears down men with the same tongue, who have been made in His likeness, as James 3:9-10 says. I want my words of praise to be pure before my Lord in heaven and to be pleasing to Him in the way I speak to others. Sometimes it is very hard to do, especially with difficult people in our lives or those who are just plain negative and mean tempered. There are times where I have to pray, “Lord, hold my tongue! Put your hand over my mouth!” and with His help, I am able to do so.

God will bless those who bless others with their mouth and actions! Be blessed today! Remember that we are salt and light to this dark world! J

Yahweh Rophe (Healer)

A little over a year ago, when I was diagnosed with several different moderate to severe spinal problems (I am a little over 40 and have the spine of a 60-year-old) and Multiple Sclerosis, I immediately began to claim healing in Jesus’ name! One of the first things I did was go through the four gospels and re-read about the healing ministry of Jesus when he was here on earth. I compared and contrasted all the healing accounts in all four gospels. There were two common factors between many of the healings that struck me after I read these accounts.

One, Jesus healed based on the person’s faith. Many times, Jesus stated the fact that the person he was about to heal or had just healed had faith, and Jesus acted on that faith by healing the sick, diseased or malformed one. I decided then and there that I too was going to have great faith and believe God for total and complete healing in my body! One of the first times I really put my “healing faith” in action was with my chronic asthma, which I had since childhood but had become much worse and more chronic three years prior to being healed. I went to bed that night after a special healing service at church in which I had been anointed with oil and prayed over for healing and I when woke up the very next day…the wheezing and cough was completely gone! Since then, I have not touched my inhaler or asthma medication and that was about eight months ago! I was fully expecting God to heal it completely, and I even went so far as to not use my inhaler that night before I went to bed. The very next morning, I woke up and I felt like I had received a pair of new lungs overnight! Praise God! This was the first Summer where I did not feel like I was suffocating in the heat, and when I went swimming, I did not feel the normal pressure sensation I felt in my lungs when I was under the water, like they were fully inflated and about to explode like I always had before. My first thought after my first swim asthma-free was, “So this is what it feels like for a person with normal lungs to swim!”

Is the lack of faith keeping you from being healed? Abandon every shred of doubt that you may have when it comes to your healing. NOTHING is too hard for God to heal! I know people who have been healed from cancer and other serious medical conditions and have heard second-hand accounts of some very amazing healing stories from missionaries that almost sound unbelievable (but praise God, nothing is too hard for Him to handle!) I am glad I took that leap of faith, because without it I may still be suffering with asthma. God has also healed many of my spinal problems over a two-year-period. Again, it took complete, unabandoned faith on my part and total trust that He WOULD heal my spine. The difference between the excruciating pain I used to have and the limitations I had because of the pain and now is absolutely amazing! I am still believing for another miracle for healing of my Multiple Sclerosis.

Two, many times Jesus reached out and touched the one He healed or they reached out and touched Him, and received their healing. This tells me that Jesus is a very personal, compassionate, tender healer. All it took was one touch from the woman with the bleeding problem that she suffered with for years and she was instantly healed. There is power in the touch from the divine healer! All He would have had to do was say the word and these people could have been healed, but He chose to touch them instead. Many of these people He touched had diseases and conditions that deemed them untouchable in society. They had to have felt very lonely and rejected until the loving touch from the healer made them well again!

A friend I used to go to church with when I lived up North told me a story about the time when she was in college and she got to know this girl who was really shy and self-conscious. This girl had warts all over her hands and this had caused social problems for her. Nobody wanted to even touch her for fear of somehow catching them. My friend had offered to pray with her, and when she did she took this girl’s hands into hers and held them as they prayed. This young lady, who had not experienced something like this before was very, very touched and began to cry with this simple gesture. My friend told me, “To tell you the truth, I was a little uneasy at first, but I really felt the Lord was telling me to take her hands at that moment, so I did.” She was following Jesus’ example by reaching out in compassion and kindness to someone who really needed it at that moment.

I am very grateful for a compassionate, tender God who touches even the untouchable and besides offering them hope, brings them healing! I am also very grateful for the healing that God has already done in my body because of the faith I put in Him to heal me! It took a period of two years and happened in stages, but I did not lose heart because I had faith that God finishes what He starts and because He started healing me, I was excited to see the healing come to completion.

However, not everyone is healed, and sometimes the process of the disease and how the person handles it is very inspiring to others and brings God more glory than the healing would have brought. Also, God can use illness to grow the person in character and a lot of good can come through the process of dealing with the illness. I am sure there are other reasons that God does not always choose to heal, but our job is to pray for those going through illness/disease, encourage them and believe in faith with them that God will either heal them in His time or that even greater good will be brought out through the process of the illness/disease itself.

I am still believing for healing of my Multiple Sclerosis, even though I continue to get new symptoms that points toward progression of the disease. God may be trying to refine me in the process of the disease and to learn to trust Him in ways I never have had to before. Whether He chooses to heal the MS or not, I will still trust Him and believe that He will do something good through this disease, either in me or in those around me. The important thing is that God uses this experience to glorify His name and to continue tweaking me to be even more like Him. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

When the Fig Tree Doesn't Bud...

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,

Though the Olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,

Though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stall,

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my savior.”    Habakkuk 3:17-18 (NIV)

 

As I write this, I am discovering what it truly takes to be joyful in God my savior when everything I have worked so hard for may be taken away. I have been searching high and low for a full-time job, or even another part-time job to supplement my other part-time job. It has been a struggle of near epic proportion as I went from 43 hours a week two years ago to 30 hours currently and a significant pay cut on top of that. Of course, this was a blessing in that my health took a turn for the worst at that time and had I continued working the hours and job I was, I would have crashed and burned! Through this, I saw that God gives us what we need and He “has my back,” literally. What we see as a step backward may actually be what God uses to help us in greater ways to get us where we need to be.

I live very simply and frugally. I am not into the latest gadgets nor do I have to have things to make me happy. I buy everything used that I can reasonably buy (some things are not good to buy used, even if the Salvation Army offers it!). J I also learned 15 years ago the futility of trying to “keep up with the Jones’s” and that this was not a healthy way to live, because things do NOT buy true happiness (only Jesus gives true happiness/joy!)

So if I am doing everything right that I can possibly do, and am leaving the rest up to God to do (because I know that He can do far above and beyond what I can do, ask or imagine), why this continuous struggle? Why do I find myself in a position where, five months from now, if God does not do a financial miracle with my employment, I may lose my house (when I am due to lose 2/3 of my house payment)?

God has provided in many, many ways in the last ten years as a single mom. I have seen Him do the “impossible” to provide for me and the boys, even during short periods of unemployment (company lay-offs and a boss who retired). He has come through for me for things as small as a much-needed allergy tablet that fell out of the dryer when I did not have enough money to get more allergy medication and was developing a monster of a sinus/allergy headache (that sometimes turns into migraines!) He also worked out a series of miracles so that I could FINALLY get a very good, reliable and affordable car that was not in the shop constantly as my previous vehicle had been, which, to a single mom, is BIG.

So now that I am facing this big challenge in front of me, why am I so scared? God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, right? I have a whole book filled with times that God has provided again and again and again, so why should this time be different?

God really built my faith through the first five years of my single parenting years by coming through for me, time and time again, for every need that came up. Now that my faith has been built up more solid and unshakable though those experiences, I believe that God is now taking me to a whole new level of faith.

He asked me a very important question a little over a year ago, which was “Do you trust me?” When the Lord asked me that initially, I was taken aback. My faith had really been built up and strengthened as I saw Him provide for and protect me again and again throughout my life, especially since becoming a single mom. At first, I was confused as to why He would ask me that because my faith had been strong and of course, I trusted Him (I had no reason not to trust Him). However, I really began to think about that question. I believe He wanted me to come to the realization that although I did trust Him for most things, could I still trust Him if I lost everything? What if my house burned down and I lost every single thing to my name? Or, what if I lost one or both of my children? Could I still fully trust Him then? At that moment, I honestly did not know if I could to the same degree I normally trust Him so I asked God to give me more faith!

So, even though I find myself in this very difficult situation where everything I know may have to change and I may have to start completely over again, I find myself praying that same thing again a year later….Lord, give me MORE faith to believe that you will not stop providing for me and my kids now! Not only more faith, I want more joy in these situations as well! I know that there will still be times and days where I doubt and feel afraid and even maybe a little anxious, but I have to remind myself, in faith, to “cast my anxieties on Him, for He cares for me.” And, if I do lose my current house, which I consider to be one of the biggest blessings He has given me, then He has something else for me. Although I cannot see any way possible that this will work out in my puny, finite mind, I have to believe that God is preparing something behind the scenes for me as I write this and I just need to wait a little bit longer for it to come together.

Sister, brother, stay strong in Him! Know that even though you too may find yourself in a situation similar to this, God is faithful to those who love Him. He promises to provide our basic needs when we do our part (ie. We cannot sit at home and refuse to work or search for work and expect Him to hand us everything). Your olive branches, fig trees and grapes may be withered to nothing at the moment, as mine are. However, I can say that at least in my situation, things usually get worse right before God steps in at the last minute and turns things completely around as He says, “My child, what were you fretting about? I have you covered.”

I hope we are going to be okay. No, I think we are going to be okay. No, wait…we are GOING to be okay.  

Portions based on Chapter 7, Starting Over With a Promise in Job 8, in “Struck Down, But Not Destroyed.”

 

 

Taken for Granted

We have all been taken for granted at one time or another by those we love and care about. And we too (gulp) have taken those we love for granted. When things in life go smoothly, it is very easy to forget the small things as well as important things and just assume that those we love will be there for us when we need them.

This concept could be carried over to our physical body too, specifically to the small, “insignificant” muscles and joints in our body. When everything is working well, we don’t think anything about them. However, work out at the gym for an hour and see how many muscles and joints you suddenly have that you never knew you had before! Just like our joints and muscles, our friends and family are extremely important in our day-to-day life. But watch what happens when for one reason or other, something in life hits us hard and for one reason or the other, we find ourselves alone. Suddenly, the ones you assumed would always be there may not, for one reason or the other, be there. Now we realize something is not right, or even missing, and we feel every bit of the reality that sometimes we have to learn to stand on our own two feet (with God, of course!). In some cases they choose not to be there, but in other cases, life happens and sometimes they just cannot be there for us.

Do you think the same thing could happen in our relationship with the Lord? When everything is going well, we don’t tend to think of God’s compassion, presence, protection, security and provision like we do when a crisis happens and we are suddenly reminded of all that God really is to us. Do you think this hurts God as much as it hurts us when we are taken for granted by someone we love? I would venture to say yes, that He too is hurt when we think little about Him except in times of need.

Walking with Him and being in His presence is a daily commitment, done from our hearts because we love Him and desire to grow our relationship with Him. Anything of value takes some type of work to keep it going, especially good relationships. However, the cost is always worth it if the relationship is valued. If the relationship is not very important, you are less likely to invest time and energy into it. Our relationship with the Lord needs to be held in highest regard every day, and not something to be tossed aside or ignored unless we need something. Unfortunately, this is what we are doing when we take things (or people or even God) for granted.

Besides taking people for granted, how many times do we take things like sight, smell, taste or pain-free living for granted? The majority of people do not even think about these things. But get a bad head cold and we find out how quickly we miss our sense of smell and taste and complain of the inconvenience. How about instead of complaining of the inconvenience, we give God praise and thank Him for these things that we normally have, which are gifts from Him to enjoy?

I admit, I used to take things such as my spine being fully flexible and pain-free for granted until I developed moderate to severe spinal problems that caused chronic pain that brought me to tears at times. However, since God has done some amazing, dramatic healings in my spine, I have learned not to take these things for granted anymore! On the days where I actually feel no pain at all (which is not very often), I thank God and praise Him for the pain-free days and I am fully aware of how much worse things could have been had He not healed my spine! Although it has been a long, hard road, I am very thankful for the progress that has been made in the past two years!

There was also a time where, around the time I was finally diagnosed with my Multiple Sclerosis (after two years of not knowing what was wrong, having multiple tests run and countless problems ruled out and having progressive difficulties neurologically), I was losing strength in my legs over the period of a few months. I could not stand up at all unless I pulled myself up to my feet by holding onto something or pushing up on the arms of the chair with all the strength in my arms to come to a stand. I had to hold on to the top of the car door and pull myself out of the car with my arms in order to get on my feet. It was getting more difficult to walk and it was beginning to take noticeably longer and take more energy to get from point A to point B.

Being only 42 at the time, I knew this was not normal and not a good thing. Scary, in fact. However, God did a miracle in that situation as well! I fully believe in the power of prayer and anointing to be healed (in which faith plays a vital part) and the very next day after being anointed and prayed over by my pastor, my legs were completely back to normal again! Before this time, I had never thanked God that I could get up and walk normally without even a thought. Truthfully, I never even thought about it before. Now, it is a totally different story because I fully realize that without God’s touch at that moment, I could easily have been reliant on an assistive device to help me walk by now. How I (often) thank God for being able to walk on my own now with absolutely no help!!! I no longer take such a simple thing for granted anymore and am very, very grateful!

I do not know what the future holds and how far or how quickly my MS will progress. However, I know the One who holds the power in His hands to give me the ability to do things I normally would not have been able to do on my own. I fully trust the Hands that have already begun a healing work inside my body and will continue to trust Him for my health, no matter which direction it takes. This is one person who is very thankful for the things I used to take for granted!

God of All Comfort

II Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”  (NIV) Do you notice the two words, “so that?” The reason God comforts us in our time of need is so that when somebody else is hurting, we too can comfort them in their time of suffering. Imagine if we were left alone to comfort ourselves in trouble? Or, imagine if we received this comfort from God but hoarded it for ourselves and refused to give it to others when they needed it most?

It seems that those who hurt the most and have been through the most make the best comforters. It does not take long to see who has had a pretty good life with very few, if any, deep valleys along the way by their reaction when you or someone else is hurting. I suppose that is one reason I consider myself blessed for having been through many, many more deep valleys than the vast majority of people. I am very sensitive to the feelings of others, even if they do not let on they are hurting. It makes me quick to ask, “Are you okay?” or “Can I pray for you?”

I believe this could include giving comfort to those hurting from past mistakes, regrets or sins for which they are now paying the consequences. Though it is never right to condone their bad choices or sinful mistakes, we need to be there for those who matter to us. Do we become angry with an “I told you so” attitude or do we just give them a warm hug and say we love them, pray with them and say we will be there for them?

I have a very dear friend whose son has been in prison for six years. She was heartbroken when he got locked up. One of the first things she told me was that, “I did not raise him that way.” The pain she feels from missing out on the past six years with her son, especially around the holidays, her birthday and at Christmas is very apparent. First time offender and did not even get into any trouble as a kid. As a matter of fact, he was a “great kid, easy-going. Could not have asked for a better kid.” However, she has never made excuses for him or what he did to get put in prison though it has still been difficult for her.

When she told me that almost every one of his friends abandoned him when he got locked up, I told her (who is like my very own sister that I wanted and never had) that I would write to him and send him cards on his birthdays and holidays. I had never met him previously in person, but I feel like I have known him for years because of how much my dear friend has talked about him. My heart went out to him, and I felt compassion for someone I had never met who had made some big mistakes along the way and lost his friends because of those mistakes.

I must say that I feel blessed every time I get a letter from him. From his letters, I can tell that in some way I am encouraging him and making a difference in his life. Besides, I have a very captive audience when I send him a long letter that most people would not even take the time to read if I had mailed it to them. I go on and on with things that I am sure would bore most people to tears, but he is always so grateful for every piece of mail he gets. I have never been in his situation, but I can still reach out in compassion and try to comfort him in a very dark place in his life as one who has received much comfort from God in my dark places. If this draws him closer to the Lord and helps him get through another day, then my letter writing “ministry” was well worth every stroke of the pen.

This is not something I recommend that everyone do, as you can potentially place yourself in a dangerous situation. However, when it is a dear friend who has been there for you and has been like a big sister to you, then you just need to do those things for them. Compassion is a lost art that needs to be brought back again!

I grew up in a home where there was NO compassion and comfort shown. However, I learned this form of art even though I went through a very, very difficult childhood because GOD was my comfort, and in turn, I have been able to comfort and be compassionate towards the hurting by His example to me.

I never met anyone who has changed the world for the better by being uncaring towards the hurting but I have met many people who have changed the world, or at least their corner of the world, by being a comfort to the hurting. Will you change your corner of the world by showing compassion and being a comfort to someone else who needs it, even a stranger? We can bring back the lost art of compassion (and comfort) simply by sharing with others what God has first shown us in our time of need.

Change your part of the world, one person at a time!

Taken from Chapter 10, “Hope Found Amidst a ‘Hopeless’ Situation,” Struck Down, But Not Destroyed

Small Acts of Kindness

In a culture such as ours, bigger is better. Bigger value meals, bigger vehicles, bigger homes and bigger “toys.” Due to this, we tend to only notice the big things, whatever those may be. How easily we feel slighted when someone gets something bigger than us or better than us.

However, that there are still a small minority of people out there, who, like me, notice and value the littlest of things. I have been through far too much in my life and done without too many things to overlook the littlest of things. A single flower growing in the middle of the grass, a robin walking across the yard, a small bar of beautiful hand soap from a friend, a card in the mail, clouds in the shapes of every day objects and a skink running across my porch are things I get excited about!

I think that God enjoys it when we look at and take notice of the little things in life! After all, He does! He knows the number of hairs on each of our heads and has names for each star in the heavens! Nothing escapes his notice…not for a minute.

Have you ever noticed how each type of bird has its own distinct chirp? How about the vast number of species of things like bugs and lizards? These things we tend to be too busy to even notice, but God himself notices because He created such a wide variety of things to be enjoyed by us. If we are too busy even to stop and notice the little things, then we are doing too much.

Before my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and moderate to severe spinal problems, I confess I was too busy to notice many little things. I had three part time jobs while raising my teenagers alone. About a year before my diagnoses, I started having a lot of neurological problems and issues with pain on some days. I had to gradually begin to slow down and learn that taking it easy was okay to do once in a while. I was running on high-speed like the energizer bunny. It was in the middle of all of this that the Lord started speaking to me, telling me to “rest.” That was a very difficult, if not impossible, request from God to me but I knew that He was telling me to rest for a reason, and I needed to figure out how to go about doing this. Obviously, I had to ask the Lord’s help in this area.

I started pacing myself more and not trying to live up to the supermom ideal I had held myself up to. Then came these physical problems followed by my employer retiring, leaving me with only one part-time job. Instead of stressing about it, however, I chose to use that time to learn to rest more and stop and “smell the roses,” so to speak. I began to notice a lot of little things that I had not even noticed previously and enjoy them too!

I will never forget one time in particular right after my diagnosis of MS, and also the diagnosis of my mom’s Parkinson’s disease as well as a lot of other really difficult situations going on during this time, when one of my kid’s teachers looked at me and said with compassion and kindness in her voice while staring straight at me, “How are you REALLY doing?” At that moment, I teared up a little as I said “Ok, but I have been better.” She then proceeded to say “I think you need a hug” as she proceeded to hug me and just held me for a bit. That was one of the few times in my life where I felt that God really cared about me and loved me the most, and that at least one person on this earth really truly cared about my hurt during this particular time. When I got this news and started sharing it with others, I got a lot of blank stares, little smiles and even silence; many of my “friends” began to disappear when I got this news.

A simple hug. It doesn’t cost anything, words are not even necessary and it only takes a few seconds of your life. Hearing the words “I’ll pray for you” in passing are needed during these times too, but too many people say this without really even meaning it. A hug takes little effort on our part but means a lot to the recipient. Jesus reached out to hurting people by a touch of His hand as well, and I imagine He probably hugged a lot of people too.

As a struggling single mom, I used to have a difficult time feeling that I could make a difference to someone else because I have such limited resources. However, at that moment, I realized that it just takes the little things that are free to give and take very little time on my part, and these things mean the world to someone who is hurting! Even saying a warm “hi” with a smile can make a stranger’s day better.

I recently started a “texting ministry” where I send texts to people I know who are going through a hard time, sending them encouraging verses throughout the week and then praying for them. I have also taken pictures of something I know that a friend may enjoy (of my dog to my dog-loving friends or of a beautiful bird in my yard if I know they love birds) and text it to them. I have also gone to the dollar store and loaded up a small basket of bottled water and snacks to take to people I know who are in the hospital (which is not very often). I spend roughly $10 and deliver it to them. They are so very appreciative and it takes very little time and money to show a little bit of kindness when they need it most. Sending small notes of encouragement to someone I have not talked to in a while also makes a big difference, as I have been on the receiving end of that gesture also.

And then, there is the good, old fashioned stand-by of a simple hug and looking someone in the eye and saying, “How are you really doing?” and waiting for their response as you really hear them out. Taking a meal to a friend who just had an outpatient procedure really makes a big difference as well (it does not matter how small or simple it is) and so does taking a plate of freshly baked cookies to a neighbor.  I think we need to get back to the small acts of kindness and reach out to the hurting around us. There is never a shortage of hurting people, or a shortage of small acts of kindness we can show.

Excerpts taken from Chapter 13, “Struck Down, But Not Destroyed.”

 

A Spirit of Power, Love and a Sound Mind

My favorite verse, II Timothy 1:7, says that “God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind.”

Fear comes from the enemy. It says 365 times in the Bible not to fear…one for every day of the year! And, because God did not give us this spirit, it comes from our enemy, Satan, who uses fear to try to stop us from doing many things, including living to the fullest of our potential. If we fear rejection, for example, then we may shrink back from praying with strangers, inviting them to church, telling them about the Lord or even what He has done in our lives. Or, if we fear failure (as I do), then we may be too scared to use our God-given gifts in fear of adding one more failure to our long list of previous failures. (Guilty!) Why bother anymore, we may ask. These are only a few examples of hundreds of things that fear drives us to do…or not do.

However, because we are “from God and have overcome…the one who is in me is GREATER than the one who is in the world” (I John 4:4). Therefore, in reality, the spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind is much greater than the spirit of fear, as they come from God whereas fear comes from the enemy (to try to destroy us).

One of the many things that the spirit of power enables us to do is face each day with strength. We have power to stand on, because God backs us up with this power. We have the power to overcome illness, loss and other devastations that life can throw our way. Have you ever wondered how someone can suffer with things like cancer, death of loved ones, job loss and financial struggle and still have joy in their heart and strength that keeps them going? It is only though the power that God gives that person to overcome in the midst of great difficulty. I have had members of my own family ask me how I can still be smiling and happy (full of joy) when I have been through so much in my life, far more than the average person. All I can do is point toward heaven and say “it’s only because God gives me the strength, peace and joy to do so.” I can tell you for certain it is NOT ONLY because I am a really strong person, but because in my weakness, God’s strength is more present and obvious in my life. When we handle life’s difficulties well, others take notice and it speaks volumes about our faith in God and His strength in our lives.

The spirit of love motivates us to love others, even when they are not lovely. We are able to love the coworker who is rude, angry or seems to enjoy ignoring or mistreating you. It may be really hard to do, especially in our own strength, but when we pray for God to help us to see others as He sees them and ask Him to help us love that person, He will do it! This spirit of love will supersede what we may feel like doing, like scratching a rude, snappy co-worker’s eyes out, for example! How many times I have had to hold my tongue from responding not out of love, but out of the flesh.  But, the results are always worth it! Case in point…I had one co-worker with whom I worked with for two years. Almost every day, she came in with a much less than desirable attitude and either completely ignored me or would say something snide to me. She was one of those who enjoyed seeing someone get in trouble and would laugh about it behind your back. Anyway, she was one of those that was much easier to avoid than talk to. I would rather have had a root canal than have to ask her something work-related because of the attitude I always got.

However, after my book came out, I posted a picture of it in the break room in case someone wanted a copy. She overheard me talking about it being a collection of my personal testimonies and said, “I have a testimonial.” I just about fell out of my chair because I could not believe she would have something like that to say. It would have been easy to overlook what she said and not respond. However, I said “Why don’t you tell me about it? I would love to hear what your testimony is!” She proceeded to tell me about a time where she was literally at death’s door and God intervened and did a miracle and she survived, to which I responded, “Wow! That’s great! I’ll bet you thank God every day for doing that for you! That is awesome! Thanks for sharing that with me!” From that point on, she was a TOTALLY different person. She actually started talking to me after that and her attitude did a 180 degree turn, at least towards me personally. I think she just needed to know someone cared and showing just a little bit of love towards her totally changed her attitude from that day on, praise God!

The spirit of a sound mind allows us to remain calm when everything around us seems to be falling apart and going crazy. The Lord helps us to remain focused, disciplined and even-keeled during these times. We do not have to go off the deep end when our world comes crashing down, because God gives us a spirit of a sound mind. Some versions of the Bible say “spirit of self-discipline.” This spirit allows us to remain under control when things in life are out of control, or even to resist that extra piece of cake you want, but do not need. It also helps us to become more disciplined in spending time with the Lord daily when so many things fight for our time and attention, for example. It takes self-discipline to grow any relationship, and that includes our relationship with the Lord. So many things can get us off track (even good things can), but He can help keep us, or get us back on, track and keep us there.

So remember…do not fear, because God gives us so much more! J

 

Green Pastures Part V, "...goodness and mercy"

Ending my series on the 23^rd Psalm, verse 6 states, “Surely goodness and love (mercy) will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” On earth, it sometimes feels that goodness and love are hard to find, at least in my life. However, we need to keep our focus off of what is going on around us, which is meant to hold us down, and keep our focus on what is good and right in our world, Jesus Christ!

It is so easy to lose sight of the goodness and mercy that God promises will follow me (when I am living for Him). If Satan can keep our eyes on the discouraging circumstances and bad things going on around us in the world these days, we can completely forget God’s goodness and mercy in our lives. Besides staying in God’s Word every day and standing on His promises, we also need to write down a list of all the ways God has shown His goodness in our lives; from His protection, our family, the roof over our head, meals on the table each day, our churches, His provision and even our pets! Just the fact that I can walk, see and hear is God’s goodness and mercy in my life (especially when two and a half years ago, I was having progressive difficulty walking, which God miraculously healed!!) Then when circumstances give us “amnesia” for all of God’s goodness and mercy in our lives, we have a reminder of what God has done for us!

Although the fact is that things are very difficult in this life, we also have the promise that we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (heaven). What an amazing promise to look forward to! The memories of this earth will one day be a distant memory. What we do on earth prepares us for the life ahead, and we need to make the most of them! How are we showing others the truth of God’s goodness and mercy? Are we telling others, believers and non-believers, about the goodness and love of God? Are we living an example of that goodness and mercy to others by reaching out to them, loving them and showing them goodness, which is getting more and more rare in our world these days? Let your light shine before men, that they may see and believe in Him and know that there is hope for them too!

We are running the most difficult marathon ever run, called the race of life, that sometimes seems to be never ending. However, when we keep our eyes on the finish line, in which we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever, we are encouraged to keep on going towards the finish line. I encourage you to keep running this race, because even though life is very difficult, God is right there with us, following us with His goodness and mercy, even though it may be hard to see sometimes. Even if you have experienced a life similar to mine where it seems like all that follows you is difficulty and more difficulty, take heart knowing that it is not all in vain when you live for Christ! There is a great ending to this story of life…heaven!

As I Corinthians 9:25 says, “Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” Praise God that we will dwell in His house forever!! Who wants to go running with me for the greatest prize ever known?

 

 

Green Pastures, Part IV

Continuing with verse 4 of chapter 23, David says, “…your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” When we think of a rod, we tend to think of something used for correction, such as “the rod of discipline” with regards to our children (Proverbs 22:15). But on closer look, the rod mentioned here refers to a rod of protection (from the enemy) and the staff is used to guide us with care. Like a good shepherd does for his sheep (who are utterly helpless and defenseless with a shepherd to protect and guide them), we too would have the same fate without our shepherd, the Lord, who uses his rod to protect us and his staff to carefully and lovingly guide us. This continues with the theme throughout this chapter, one of comfort and rest in green pastures.

When we know we are protected and guided by our sweet Lord, we can relax without having to feel anxious, scared and worried that any number of dangerous things are right around the corner, ready to hurt us (especially from our unseen enemy!) We can live freely (although we still have to use the brains he gave us to avoid doing something stupid or unnecessarily dangerous), knowing that God is protecting us no matter where we live. I live in a suburb of one of the most dangerous cities in the US and every day I hear about shootings, robberies, murders, etc. It would be very easy to go out, as a single woman, and walk around petrified with fear that I might be the next victim. But, I can hold my head high with confidence that the God of the universe has his angels around me, keeping me safe. Not only this, but He also protects me from my #1 enemy, Satan.

Countless times, I have been in potentially dangerous or even deadly situations, and I have been kept safe. There was a period of about a year where my (ex) husband became physically abusive and one time had his hands around my neck and tried to choke me. I had just learned some self-defense techniques shortly before that, and was equipped to get his hands off from my neck before I was harmed. I always have this deep down assurance that God is protecting my every step.

Recently, God supernaturally protected my 17-year-old son, who took out my car out to go a mile down the road to the grocery. When he went to turn left, there was a fire truck RIGHT THERE, coming full speed towards him and just feet away from my car. (It was blocked from a long line of trucks and big cars). He thought quickly and gunned the engine to get out of the way (towards a ditch straight ahead), then had to quickly brake to avoid going into a deep ravine. The car rested right between a telephone pole and a guardrail. Cars were everywhere at this busy intersection. When my son got home, he said that he was scared out of his mind, and that there was ABSOLUTELY no way (it was impossible that) he should not have been hit by something! There was not even a scratch on the car! It was then I teared up and told him that just that week on Wednesday night, my pastor prayed over us in the chapel meeting for special protection for us and our children. The moment he prayed that, I had a strong feeling that something was going to happen in our household soon but that God was going to supernaturally protect us.  

These are a few examples of God’s rod of protection in action, and I praise God! His rod also protects us from Satan, our enemy, who is always looking for someone to destroy and devour. Satan is powerful but God’s rod far outweighs any measly power that Satan has! As dangerous as our world is and some of the people in it, our struggle is not really against flesh and blood, but against the powers of darkness (Ephesians 6:12). How thankful I am for the Lord’s rod of protection, not only against potential danger or things we can see, but even against things that are unseen coming against us!

Now I move on to the staff of guidance. How many times I have needed God’s guidance in raising my children alone! Having so many decisions to make sometimes overwhelms me, but I am comforted in the fact that God will carefully guide me when I ask Him to. Even with the small decisions, I ask God for His guidance to make the right decision as I carefully weigh the options, as some decisions could have a long-lasting impact on this family. God always gives me peace about the right decision, and no peace about the wrong decision, which guides me to make the right decision.

A few years ago, I had to make a decision to get a spinal tap to diagnose several neurological problems I had for two years that were increasing. At first, I told the doctor “No way! I am not getting that done” (I hated the thought of a huge needle going in next to my spine!) However, she gave me a few weeks to think about it and let her know at my next appointment. Long story short, I prayed that God would give me guidance on what to do. He knew what was wrong with me physically and whether in fact I really needed that particular test done to find out the cause. Within 24 hours, I was overwhelmed with peace about the procedure and had it performed about a month later. As a result, the problem was confirmed (along with the MRI showing lesions on my brain): Multiple Sclerosis.

After a firm diagnosis, it gave me a peace of mind knowing what the problem was so I could move on forward and begin to treat and prepare for this accordingly. It was much, much harder not knowing why I had suffered so many neurological problems. I was also now able to enlist my prayer warrior friends to pray for me accordingly as well as being able to pray for this specifically myself.

I am very thankful for the rest (in green pastures) that the Lord brings to me through His rod of protection and His staff of guidance! Have you thanked God for these things today?

Green Pastures, Part III

Verse 4a of the 23^rd Psalm states, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me…” This portion of verse four leaves no room for gray areas. It does not say “if I walk through,” but, “even though I walk through.” Life in an imperfect world is a guaranteed recipe for valleys to come our way; abuse, depression, war, angry people, unemployment, anxiety, financial struggle, divorce, illness, racism…I could go on and on. Again, God never promised we would not face these valleys but he did promise that He is with us, so for this reason, I have nothing to fear.

And, in spite of those things we can still fear no evil because He, the almighty God, creator of heaven and earth is with us personally. In 2012, the Lord was preparing me for the biggest battle in my life, the hardest year of my life, which took place in 2013. He specifically told me the words, “do not fear the unknown.”*

I was coming into a season in my life where I was being prepared again and again for a big trial coming up and I must admit that I was fearful of what this was going to mean for my life. What would I lose? What would happen? Would my kids be okay? Would something happen to completely turn my world upside down? In the midst of all of these difficult questions, and because I knew he was preparing me for a very difficult season in life, all I could do was ask God to help me have the strength, courage and fearlessness I would need to make it through whatever was coming.* The same can be said for anyone going through a difficult valley. We all need the shepherd’s help, and he freely offers it to us, even when “we walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”

Including Psalm 23:4, there are 365 times in the Bible where it says “fear not” or “do not fear,” one for every day of the year! Although I did fear what was to come in 2013, I also had confidence knowing that God would be right there with me through it. Looking back, I did go through the “valley of the shadow of death” in 2013. I would not wish what I went through on anyone, even an enemy. However, in the midst of all the loss I faced along with the illness, financial loss and plethora of friends I thought I had before then who decided to scatter when I was facing the lowest valley in my life, God stuck with me.

However, I did not feel his presence the way I normally do nor did he speak as clearly as I am accustomed to hearing him speak, but I believe he was trying to develop my faith to a greater degree. Was I still going to believe he was there with me when I did not feel him or hear from him at all through the hardest points of 2013? It’s one thing to believe in Psalm 23:4 when things are going okay and God is clearly speaking to you, but how about the times when the rug has been pulled out from under you and you cannot feel God around anywhere? What then? Some of us must come to the point in our struggles and say, “either what God’s Word says about His faithfulness is true, or it’s not.” This is not based on feeling, but on truth.

So, if you are facing a period of depression and/or loss as I did in 2013 or other dark valley and feel that life cannot possibly get worse, step out in faith and hold onto the TRUTH (even if you cannot feel it). God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Valleys are temporary, but God’s faithfulness in permanent. TRUTH never changes, no matter how we feel. Emotions and feelings of hopelessness, feeling worthless, and unimportant to anyone are lies from the enemy meant to keep you from believing the truth!

Emotions can change in a matter of moments and can leave you feeling defeated enough to give up. There were two times specifically that I was on the verge of completely giving up on life in 2013, but God intervened in some way to keep me going just one more minute, then one more hour, then one more day and then one more week…until I came out on the other side, stronger than ever before! Thank you Lord, that I have nothing to fear, because even in “the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for (BECAUSE) you are with me!”

*Some content taken from excerpts of Chapter 12 of my book, “Struck Down, But Not Destroyed.” (June 2014, Crossbooks publishing)

Green Pastures, Part II

Picking back up again in Psalm 23, we come to verse 3, a continuation of the perfect picture of rest that verses 1 & 2 speak of. Verse 3 states, “…he restores my soul.” When we rest in Him, He gently “restores our soul,” our very being. When we are running around busily trying to survive the daily “rat race,” it is impossible to feel restored. Only when we quietly rest our minds and bodies, reflecting on who He is can we “recharge” so that we can accomplish the task He put us on earth to do.

The same time the Lord told me back in 2012 to rest, I was working three part time jobs as a single parent. Two of the jobs were quite demanding; the other job was more relaxing and repetitive, being much easier work. I always felt like I was going high speed and when I got home each night, fixed dinner, cleaned up, did laundry, assisted with homework, washed dishes, spent some time with the boys and did my devotions, I practically poured myself into bed, exhausted. During the day, however, I felt like Superwoman and enjoyed the fact I got so much accomplished every day.

The three jobs went on for 3-1/2 years until the doctor I worked for retired. Perfect timing, I believe, because the Lord knew I could not keep going at that pace much longer. Even when I lost two of these three jobs due to his retirement (the job I was left with was only p.r.n., as needed, with no guarantee of hours), I still found it hard to rest although circumstances made it much easier now, so I asked the Lord to help me rest. It was eight long months before I found another steady job with guaranteed hours. Even then, my hours were cut from about 45 a week to 30 a week and I had to take a huge pay cut. While I complained at first about the lack of hours and fretted about how I was possibly going to pay my living expenses on such a huge decrease in pay, I was beginning to feel more rested. I literally felt like God was restoring me physically and emotionally from the inside out and after a while, I learned to enjoy where the Lord had me although underemployed with a significant drop in pay.

He began a series of physical healings in my body over the next two years, as I worked this one 30-hour-a-week job. First it was problems with quickly progressing weakness in my legs, then some moderate to severe spinal problems (that caused extreme stiffness and moderate to severe chronic pain) that he healed instantly and miraculously. Then He healed my chronic asthma, leaving me no longer dependent on my asthma medication and twice daily inhaler! Although I still have Multiple Sclerosis and not all of my spine problems are gone, I feel much better than it did two years ago! Not only has he restored my soul of the weariness and heaviness that came with running the “rat race,” He has begun to restore my body as well! There is nobody else on earth who can do this permanently like He can. Praise Jehova Roi (My shepherd, the God who sees)!

Green Pastures, Part I

If we are not careful, it is very easy to get wrapped up in the worries and stresses of life. Anxiety and depression are at an all-time high. Our society thrives on the mindset of squeezing as many activities as possible into every single day to make life “better.” Got to have the kids in every activity and then some to keep them busy. All it ends up doing, however, is stressing them out, stressing you and your family out and prevents you from forming meaningful relationships with neighbors and friends. There is great cost to running the “rat race” day in and day out, one of which is disconnect to others in our society.

Go back 30 years or so to when I was growing up, and we were home almost every night, together. However, we worked very, very hard doing chores inside and out. At the crack of dawn on Saturdays, we were pulled out of bed to start working again. Activities outside the home were somewhat limited, but we would on occasion visit with neighbors and our extended family, most of whom lived within 15 minutes of our house. The world did not revolve around dance classes, gymnastics, sports and the like. Work, work, work was the mantra of our day.

The most important thing to remember in every area of life is moderation. Although activities can teach some important skills as can working hard to help the family out, these too need to be done in moderation. Rest was God’s idea. He even rested on the seventh day from creating the entire universe and everything in it! If He did it, then we should too!

Growing up in that kind of environment made it nearly impossible for me to learn how to rest, and have fun with my friends and family. Especially when I became a single mom, where there was always too much to do and not enough time. Rest? Lay down? Chill in the pool with the kids? Who had time for that?

In 2012, after 42 years of living ragged like this, my body could not handle it anymore. I had the left side of my body go limp and I started to get a lot of numbness and tingling in my arms and legs. When I called the doctor, her office told me it sounded like I may have had a mini stroke. Testing came out negative for that, but that was the beginning of a wakeup call. Then, the Lord told me very specifically in 2013 that it’s “okay to rest. You need to rest your body and rest in me.” Talk about a huge request from God! However, I knew that He was asking me to do this for a reason, so I asked Him to help me do this as it was nearly impossible for me to do this on my own, having grown up with “work, work, work” alone being ingrained into my very being. I learned a strong work ethic and our house looked spotless inside and out, but it also made it hard to do what even God Himself did on the seventh day, rest.

Psalm 23:1-2 speaks of rest. When our focus turns to Him daily in the midst of the busyness of life, we immediately feel rested and are at peace, no matter what is going on in our lives. Nothing else can bring the amazing peace and rest that only He brings. THE LORD “is my shepherd, I shall not be in want” (vs 1) of anything! When we meditate on this, we are completely at rest, knowing that no matter what we are facing, we will not be in want, because HE is our shepherd. “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters…” (vs 2). What an ultimate picture of rest! Close your eyes and picture yourself lying in a green pasture. What do you see and feel? Green pastures are vivid with the colors of the flowers, the big, beautiful blue sky and thick green grass, soft, cool and comforting to the touch.

Notice that verse 2 does not say that “he hopes or wants that I lie down in green pastures (a picture of perfect rest).” It says that he “makes me lie down in green pastures.” Occasional rest is just what the ultimate “doctor” ordered. If we cannot do this on our own, sometimes God allows situations to come into our lives to reset our priorities and make us rest. In my case, my health took a turn for the worse and I am still battling health difficulties, but I have learned through this that it is ok to occasionally rest my body.

 Then he says that he “leads me (gently) beside quiet waters,” not “leads me hurriedly beside rushing waters.” Another perfect picture of rest with our precious Lord. When we learn to do this, it becomes our favorite, and most rewarding, part of the day! I would take one solid quiet hour with Him over a whole day doing anything else! Won’t you join me in spending at the very least one hour a day in His presence, resting in Him, talking with Him and meditating on His Word? J

Facing Your Demons

I grew up in a very abusive home, and along with that came a feeling of constant unrest in my home growing up. There was always a heavy cloud of fear, unrest and even a hint of a scary, or demonic, presence that seemed to lurk in the background. I was terrified of the dark and remember covering up my entire head at night just so I could get to sleep, only leaving my nose out to breathe. Every night, my heart pounded after I turned off the lights, as if I were expecting something to attack me after the lights went out. When I was about 12 years old, I remember having a dream that I was the victim in a satanic ritual. It was terrifying and woke me up out of a deep sleep.

Many nights I spent praying for God to protect me and help me not feel this intense fear that seemed to take over when the sun went down every night. I remember my mom would look in at me through the crack in the door after she had thought I fell asleep and stare at me for what seemed like a very long time. I always feared what she was thinking about. Was she angry at me about something? Was she waiting for just the right moment to come in and harm me? She never did anything, but I always kept one eye open and watched her back, so I could be ready if something did happen.

My faith was strong as a child and I loved going to church; I also had amazing Godly relatives who were a source of light and strength for me. I have no doubt that God had his protective hand on me throughout my childhood. Not only was there the physical, emotional and verbal abuse I had to endure day after day for 18 years, but also the feeling that something resembling the demonic was living in that home as well. However, the good news in situations like this is that we have a promise in the Word of God that says in I John 4:4, “You…are from God and have overcome…because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” (NIV)

Rest in God, trusting Him and knowing that He will protect you in danger and help you overcome anything that happens to you. Not only that, He will use what others meant for bad and turn it into good. Of course, it took a long time to get through the effects of the abuse and it required that I forgive my parents so that I could move on and open myself up to let God restore me and rise about my abuse. I am an overcomer…how about you?

 

“Be Still And Know”

With all of the chaos going on in the world around us now, combined with the stress of being a single parent and responsibilities too numerous to count, it is far too easy to focus on the stress of life and get very discouraged and anxious. I learned early on as a single parent that one of the most important things I can do for myself and my family is to have a little quiet time to myself each day to relax and soak up God’s presence (in addition to my regular quiet time with Him). The same can be said for anybody.

When the stress, struggles and chaos seem to be squeezing the very breath out of me, I have to constantly remind myself to re-focus on the Lord and rest in Him. Even the worst stress, chaos and struggles in life all wrapped up into one are NO match for the peace, hope and joy that God brings! Rest is God’s idea, and a gift from Him, and should be utilized regularly to recharge our batteries. When we are still before the Lord, He brings us rest.

One time in particular, something had happened with one of my sons and it was something I had prayed very specifically that would never happen to either of my kids. I was at a loss for words and all I could do is drop to my knees and cry out to heaven. Why did this happen when I poured so much prayer into this, and it seems to have happened anyway? At that moment, I heard the voice of the Lord say, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) Immediately, I knew that despite how the circumstance looked at the moment, the Lord was telling me to be still and trust Him to take care of this, which He did, and everything was not as it seemed in the beginning.

People spend billions of dollars a year on things to take away stress, and though many of these things are wonderful and enjoyable, they are only temporary. Vacations end, Jacuzzi tubs fizzle out and get cold, massages are short-lived and a day at the spa can leave you with an empty pocketbook. However, the peace that comes from quietly resting in God’s presence takes away even the worst stress and lasts longer than anything else. Be still, and know that HE is God in all the mess! The best thing is, it’s free and available to all! J

Unemployed and Hopeless!

I had been at the company for only two years when the first round of layoffs hit. My job survived until the very end of this first round, when they finally had to lay me off too. The company was quickly losing business as the economy took a big turn for the worse, and a halt was put on the house building industry, which affected us directly.

After one week of being gone, I got a phone call from the ops manager asking me to come back in a different position that needed filling as someone had just quit, and they really wanted me to have first dibs at the job before they searched outside the company. It was a higher position than the one I left with, but the pay would be a lateral move from my old position. At that point, I did not care that the pay would be the same; this single mom just wanted and needed a job!

About six months later, more layoffs. Each department was cut in half and we were running on a skeleton crew. I survived the first three or four rounds of layoffs until my head was inevitably “placed on the chopping block” and I too was laid off (again). Soon afterwards, the company closed its doors.

Right after the first layoff, I started a training program to get certified in medical transcription. Now, I at least had this new skill that I could use to find a new job. I was not expecting it to take very long until I found another job, especially with all the different types of experience I had in different fields and now I had medical transcription certification on top of that. However, it took a LONG eight months before I would find another job after this final layoff.

God provided every need while I was unemployed (through unemployment, which was not much, and child support). We never went without a meal and all of my basic living expenses were paid out of the very meager checks I lived on during that time. I busted my chops five days a week trying to find another job to no avail. I went to job fairs, applied for every job I heard about by word of mouth, jobs listed in the paper and online and even dropped of resumes to clinics and hospitals to no avail. After six months, I got really burned out and felt completely hopeless as I tried so hard to do everything I could, but I still did not get any offers. So, even though God was providing our basic necessities, and I saw Him come through many times, I was still very discouraged.

At that six-month point, I realized that I was beginning to tie my value as a person to having a job. Society did a great job feeding into that feeling of hopelessness. I noticed for the first time that everyone asks what you do for a living (where you work) when they first meet you, and it really irritated and embarrassed me, especially when I was trying so hard to get a job to no avail.

One morning in particular during this time, I woke up crying and could not stop all morning. I had hit a low point. I was on my knees crying out to God to help us financially, to get me a job and to give me HOPE. I cried out, “God, if you could just show me HOPE that there’s a job out there for me, I could handle this better. All I’m asking for is HOPE right now…Something…ANYTHING!!!!” About 30 minutes after I prayed this, my doorbell rang. A single mom friend of mine whom I had not seen in months was on my doorstep. She hurriedly said, “I am on my lunch break and am almost late getting back to work so I have to go, but God kept telling me to drop this off to you…NOW.” She handed me a CD. I thanked her and put it in as soon as she left.

Would you believe that EVERY song on there with the exception of one or two of them, was about HOPE? Hope in God, hope in our circumstances and the hope we have for a good future because of God’s faithfulness. That was far too coincidental to be anything but a direct answer to my prayer for the hope I needed to find a new job! That CD gave me a new level of hope, energy and determination to go back out and hit the pavement even harder until I got my new job! Praise God that He gives us the hope we need as we need it! His grace is sufficient for me!